Friday, December 29, 2006

ATLAST, I've won....

....or so I thot. I tend to keep my phone switched off so that I can be "unreachable" when I want to. Anyway, I made the mistake of keeping my phone switched on around Christmas time as I was at home and playing snakes (Hi Score: 28,76,095) .

I get this call from a mobile. I usually do not pick up when somebody calls from a land line to avoid explaining to them why I do not need a loan. So I pick up the call and this happens

Me: Yullo

Her: Saar, your number has been picked for the Diwali bonanza saar! (some kid crying in the background)

Me: Uh huh (I WON!! but I never entered any form I WON!! Diwali bonanza in December? may be they are running late OH SHUT UP I WON!!!)

Her: You can come and pick up your gift

Me: When?

Her: Saar, are you married?

Me: (man this was fast....I must sound REALLY sexy (only) on the phone)

Her: Well do you stay with your parents?

Me: (slightly annoyed) No but I can get there on my own

Her: No No...Saar, actually we give the gifts only to couples

Me: HUH?

Her: Do you know ANY couples? Sisters, Brothers...

Me: (WHAT THE...) No.....

Her: Ok SAAR, please hold...

Me: OK then I'm not interested....( On hold...listening to some shitty Kenny G tune that plays in all the elevators and Indian Airlines flights )

Her: (after keeping me on hold for 2 min)

Me: Listen, I'm not interested!! CLICK! (I would've slammed the receiver but these mobiles have been designed for a telemarketer free world you see)

I collapse in my bed after this intense workout, thinking I think I need a loan to buy something I neither need nor want. THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED!!

Thursday, December 28, 2006


Haven't been regular on the blog lately.

That is bcoz I have added 3 new blogs for Music, Movies and Books.

If you are looking for any reviews or recoz you can look at one of these...the links are available under the Reviews and Recoz tab on the side bar...lemme know what you think.

There are very few posts on them right now but will try to keep e updated as regularly as possible.

This blog will be basically used for my "thots". :)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Interpreting Hitler

As understood from Der interpretation.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Cubicle ke us paar - Ek dard bhari prem katha


Apna Hero - K.V.R.M chatopadhyay (Dad was from UP so southindian mom wanted some credit in the name her Dad's, village's, her best friend's and her name make up K.V.R.M) Pyar se known as chat

Apni Laila(well kind of) - Simran ghosh (All the good things about chandigarh and bengal ;)) Sim

Direction - jahan google le jaye

Script - ha ha good one!


Chat has been workin in this company for 3 months and 13 days. After 3.5 job switches (0.5 for the intra company change). Our experienced Hero is shocked and ashamed of the sex ratio of his team. "Chi yaar, EK ladki nai apni team main" he quibbles to his sutta partners. Will take care of it in the next recruitment cycle.

If it was up to chat, the company would hav recruited women from IIFT for creating Dot NET applications, but his HR is a lady so she doesn't understand what such a recruit will do to the team productivity.

Finaly, he got his chance to go recruit hunting to one of Jamshedpur's engineering colleges. (Calcutta main strike thi so the other college was closed ;)) Another HR blunder - the interview panel needed 2 people and he was stuck with a senior tech consultant WHO WAS A LADY (GHOR ANYAAY BHAGWAAN!) She was somehow hung upon teh candidate's technical capabilities. Arre main sikha dunga na thought chat. Finaly a compromise was reached - Simran Ghosh.

After the initial team lunch, paid for by all the other team members (yup guys) to show their eternal gratitute to Chat. Chat who used to amble into office at 11:00 am usually, but since Sim was an early morning person (who liked Bangalore ki coffee) Chat sacrificed hi sleep to get in early. At about 15 minutes past 9:30 a.m. he would stand next to her cubicle, diagonally opposite to his. Somehow she was always talking on the phone when he got there. "Must be talkin to her mom" he thought. He was always proud of the fact that she never said no to him, she didn't wana miss the oppertunity of free coffee service. Also, there was nobody else in at such an early hour.

Well after about 3months and 22 days of coffe service ( the shouts of KAAAAAAAAPPPII - 2 missing) he got the dreaded mail, with scanned attachments. He couldn't read it, he didn't have to. The last statement said it all "Please consider this our personal invitation". "Why ME god??" thought Chat. She was the one for me!! He obviously didn't attend the wedding, he had to meet the deadline for the next release, 10 months after her wedding day.

She returned after her one month break. Due to some inexplicable reason chat had started coming in late to the office. And then his mail "Thanks for all your support in building my carrer (for 7 months), I am pursuing my career interest elsewhere". The elsewhere was in a company with a better hit rate with the LADIES and good looking HRs but his reason for a swith was better career prospects OBVIOUSLY.

Well, Chat soon got married to Mandira Singh, A bengali girl settled in Delhi..JACKPOT.
Sim, lived happily ever after, She is a senior Tech consultant who often goes to conduct interviews. And the software industry braced for the next Sim-Chat pair!!


Thursday, December 14, 2006

The great indian tamasha - 2

Continued from here:

So you think you have survived? Hope to get up as late as possible the next day?? Hope you can watch the Arsenal Vs Chelsea football match. Well you are pretty optimistic. You have been assigned a task by the overwhelmed family of the bride. Take your pick.

1) The 6 A.M. recieving party at the railway station: Well "recieving party" works two ways. The obvious one is you get to be the sheaperd to all the relatives of the groom who will be gracing you with their presence. Also, you are the designated telephone (a mobile one too) operator. How you ask? well the driver of the official bus is not a mobile user (Mr Ambani is going to provide him with a free reliance set soon). So you need to convey the status of search party 2 to him periodically so that he can stay at his current location till.... well till the bus is full (I couldn't figure out the relation either).....The probability of the only train being late that day is directly proportional to your impatince.

2) The recieving party at the hotel: You gotta be at the hotel where the "BAKRA" and relatives will be put up. You need to well, show them to their rooms and help them get comfortable for whell about 12 Hours of their stay in Delhi, of which 8 will be spent in the Loo, 3 eating and the solitary hour sleeping. Incidently, the 1 hour of sleep will coincide with the actual marriage taking place.

3) Chaperone: Well the Bride to be has to look the best she can be, so you are the designated driver to go where no man has gone before.....well atleast you haven't....her beauty parlour.

Get ready dude, you will miss all the fun...and the fun is to wait for every other lady you will be escorting to the crime scene a.k.a "The Pandal". This can be described as a temporary bomb shelter with ample arangements of stuffing your self accompanied by lots of people in uncomfortable dressed clothes who can recognize you but for the saving grace of your facial hair.(Thank god for small miracles)

The Annoyance quotient of the occasion grows exponentially with the volume of the "D.J's" Remix of all Himesh reshamiah songs. Now pick a spot diagonally opposite to the make shift dance floor or else you will have to acompany one of the "Ladies" who couldn't sing yesterday and cant speak today not being able to walk tommorow. The only problem being the group of Shenai maestros who blow their talent directly into your brain.

Once the insatiable appetite of the guests is somewhat curbed and the have had their 15 seconds of fame. A still photo with the pair whose day this is and a small part in the video reel too. They mysteriously disappear. Note that the marriage hasn't yet started, The event for which they had supposedly come there. The pair is fed for they will need all their energy for the Secomd innings.

The Pandit (priest) is revising his performace. This somehow makes you uncomfortable..WHY??
well either he doesn't know his you will have to be there for a LOONG time, or he does know what to do and well then you will have to be there for a LOONG time.

Time 1 A.M.
Temp 5 Deg C

The Grooms shoes have been promptly hidden by the bride's sister.(behind him both the sister and teh shoes.) The pandit is being widely ignored by everybody except for the one gentelman who has doubts about what the ritual is. This guy is inturn being ignored by teh pandit. The one irritating uncle/cousin you have who is always ignored, has got his chance to show you his new ceell phone and plays all the ringtones in his cell at full volume asking you after each is done "NICE NA??"

Time 3 A.M.
Temp 4 Deg C

The "Ladies" are negotiating the cash they can get for "stealing" the shoes. You are just staring into oblivion waiting for somebody to pay the pandit so that he stops explaining the nuances of Karma and Dharma with the background tone of PAPPU MOBILE uncle.

Time 5 A.M.
Temp 4.125 Deg C

After catching the rice crispies thrown by the bride (for some inexplicable reason) as she exits
the crime scene you can see your somwhere on the horizon. As you start rejoicing. Someone calls your name. You are supposed to drop the bride to her new home.... well atleast you will get some sleep in about half an hour.....but the Mobile less driver is MIA and you need to find him.....

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The Great Indian Tamasha - 1

If you are into bollywood movies then you obviously know about Hum Aapke Hain Kawn. My sis dragged me to watch that one. All my whining and protest were drowned out in the 14 or so songs looking for "The One" for Ms Dixit (NO NOT KEANU REEVES).

It is only fair that I cringe at the thought of attending any other event, reel or real life that makes me relive that traumatic experience (I'm scarred for life, nd it is my sis's fault). This weekend all my fears came back with a vengance!! That too in 3-d. This two part post will try to get you to sympathise with me and convince you not to invite me to the "happiest" (ha ha) day of your life.

Background: I'm a Bangalorean with the unfortunate coincidence of supposedly being a
Delhite. My cousin got married this weekend. I was pulled out of the self imposed premature retirement from my international career of attending social gatherings. CHALO DELHI!

The journey: Delhi was waiting for it's revenge, for the fact that I have been enjoying the great wheather of B'lore and hate cold. Any way after the mandatory delay the flight got us (me and dad) to New Delhi. Outside temp 12 Deg C. Got to the my aunt's place and colapsed on the bed....This was 2 a.m. Got up....did some things that were LONG overdue, got back home. Asked what plans for the evening. The dreaded reply...LADIES SANGEET. NOOOOOOOOO

Well if you are not familiar with this, lucky you. It involves the following.
Everybody is on the floor gathered around the floor ready to flex their vocal chords. One of your aunts on the floor with the "Dholak" The beat is the same as any Himesh Reshamiya song well remixed or not. Another aunt, sitting with her with a spoon (yup, a spoon), ready to pound the wood of the dholak to smithereens. Rest of the ladies (and hence the name) sit aroun clapping for the lack of any better thing to do, or the lack of instruments or both....not sure not to keen to find out either. The bride to be sitting on a chair somewhere in this mele, almost handicapped as her hands and leds are painted with some wierd orange pattern (coz of the Henna or mehndi).

So the guys, with ourImmaculate taste in music start to slowly slide towards the door can't stand up or you might be asked to move the mattress, get water or dance(HELL NO). As you escape the reign of terror, you reach the place where all the Men are sitting. Please note, there is a difference between Men and Guys...Men have given up any hope of escaping. Yes they are married. They get more exercise on this night because of some inexplicable reason, all kids start running around as soon as their Moms start "singing". The fathers wondering if when does the warranty for these things expire so that they can take em apart.

After about a couple of hours of pounding the dholak and trying to sync with the tape recorder (the guy on the tape doesn't know the lyrics you see) the end is near. The men have served their purpose by then finished as much food as possible, and fed the kids. Now feeding the women, well no comments. Everybody congratulates the host for the lovely food, arrangements, wheather, lights, air, life etc.

The journey back is great. Figure out the logistics of getting the people to fit in the vehicles that are available. And you wonder how the hell did they fit when they got here?? Well the thing is after 2 Hrs of singing all the ladies have an alterego that can(debateable) the number of people has doubled. However, how do you pry two women away who are discussing topics of national importance. Which saree should she wear, and what is the bride, her sister and their 4th cousin are gonna wear!!!

Then, the reviews start...the dholak was not tuned, the food was bad, the light wasn't enough, the water was too watery, the night was too dark. Now that most of the guys are deaf. The men have lost their power to hear anyhow, they are just the designated drivers.

Get home at 12ish. Go to sleep. live to fight another day....well the war has just started.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Memory leaks of the soul

IS THIS IT?? you ask your self....

The promised land...."Beta these are the crucial years, study well now and your life is made"

2 years later..."Just think how great your life would be if you get into IIT"

3 years later..."I've gotta know everything in George summers' and shakuntala devi's APTITUDE will get me a job "

2 Years later...."Masters will help me get a better job"

Some time later..."Lets get a MBA, it'll get me a funky title and better cash"

And every night you sit in the dark, trying to figure out WTF? I'm missing something.

C'mon kiddo "you just need to share it with somebody to get it (errr PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS IT??) find a decent girl and get married"

I know, misery loves company...

Then you stop "communicating"... At the dinner table completely wired to your phones, PDAs and laptops.....eating shit you don't wanna, but you can afford... you look at her and the conversation is done.... her day was good so was a fucking book, with the TV blarring some shitty remix....fuck around, coz you can...

"I'll tell you what you need, A REAL FAMILY"


You pick up the fruits of HER labour, it is fun to be awake at 5 a.m. looking for the kid's silent mode option.

He's a pretty intelligent kid, just needs some motivation "Beta these are the crucial years, study well now and your life is made"

You still stay awake, realising IT was always within you. No longer though. All you needed to do was plug the leak when you found something was missing....all you need now is to figure out which adhesive to use...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Ash + Abhishek = Ashishek

Well the least you guys at rediff can do is spell their names correctly!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Close encounters of the Nth kind

This one needs a bit of details about me. I HATE talking to people. Especially if I don't know you. Now living in one of the many apartment complexes in Bangalore, you invariably end up nodding your head at someone you don't know. I'm ok with that. But once they start asking me about where I work and what deo I use it is a problem

Another thing, most of my waking hours my i-pod is plugged into my ears.

Now 2 days ago, after parking my bike I was heading towards my house. At the gate of my building(well not technically mine, but you get the point) I spot this guy waiting for the Elevator. SHIT!! Why you ask? Well, confined in a small space with a stranger in your face, the question invariably arises....WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? TELL ME YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRETS...

So, I walk as slow as humanly possible hoping for my sake that the guy is lucky enough to get the elevator ASAP. Well god has a sadistic sense of humor. I reach the elevator, the guy still there. The doors slide open. I try to ignore him, continue to stare at the notice board. hoping he'll go without a fight but NO. Excuse me he says...I look up at him, he is holding the elevator for me...well 10 floors in the elevator won't take too much time, most probably he'll get off before me (Probability (1 - 3/14)). BAD CALL

I punch 10, he punches 12...I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS ONE GOD!! Well so far so good, he hasn't spoken, now only if the elevator starts moving. Gravity acting on our feet, the rise to my cocoon begins.

I-POD? he asks....Hmmm may be he is a fellow I-PODOPHILE. I nod. (The morning, I don't know you and don't care nod).

And then the dreaded question (which NO body has ever had the sense to ask me, I wonder why..) How come you are so FAIR?

Errr...lets options
1) Am a follower of M.J.
2) Fair and Handsome - Fairness cream for Men
3) May be coz I bleach myself instead of taking a bath..
4) Used to be green, but all the chlorophyll had to be removed as I got sunburnt

Any way I chickend out....."Well I'm not from Bangalore"(I din't wanna tell him I was born and raised here, just not a kanadiga....a banglorean tho'...fine print)

This thankfully happened between floors 8-9. So the escape was near...

Anyway, I said c ya. Could hear him say something about "That explains it"
saved myself from telling him all about how my ancestors, being Apes(at one point of time), came to stay in Bangalore.

I unlock the door thinking this will be fun to put on the blog.....

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Who am I?

He gave himself the title of

His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor ____, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and ____ in Particular.

A movie based on his life was recently released. The Movie stars Forest Whitaker.

Mira Nair's Mississippi Masala has references to him.

He died in Saudi Arabia in 2003.

P.S. : The ____ are to make this Q atleast a bit challenging. ;)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Forwarding Therapy

Easy way of posting something, I know, but this one is worth it...Nice...

This is a short story written by Dr Kishore Shah....

he is a gynecologist in Pune and a very gifted writer....enjoy this
extremely funny story

********************************************************** Woh Kaan thi!

My wife is an ENT Surgeon while as I am a Gynaecologist.

(In fact, we had nearly called our hospital The 'Holey' Family
hospital but are now waiting for our son to be a Proctologist and
marry an urologist.) This can lead to some complications, as I
recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner phoned me up
and told me that she as sending a patient of hers for an abortion.
Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal
of the wax to my wife.

I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she
was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our
hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax
removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation that
I had with the patient.

"Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a
big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a
feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax."

"Doctor, will this hurt a lot?"

"Not at all."

The patient relaxed visibly. "You know something, Doctor, we tried
removing it at home, but failed."

I was shocked. "Thank God. Trying this at home can cause serious

"I first tried to remove it by jumping up and down, but it just
wouldn't budge."

I smiled and said, "If it were that easy, who would need doctors?"

She gave a cute smile and said, "Yeah! My neighbour tried to remove it
with his finger, but the hole is so small that he used a hair pin."

"Oh my God!"

"Yes! My mother even tried a matchstick."

My blood pressure was shooting skywards. I just sputtered without
uttering a word.

"Tell me, doctor, how do I avoid getting this dirt inside me?"

I knew that it was an unwanted pregnancy, but calling it dirt was too
much. I replied a bit angrily, "There are tablets which can prevent
this happening. Or you could use protection at night."

Now it was the patient's turn to be confused, "You mean to say that it
happens only at night?"

I saw her point. "No! No! I meant anytime of the day, whenever you are
in the mood, you should use protection."

She was even more confused, "It depends on my moods?"

Again I saw her point. "My mistake. You need not be in any sort of
mood. It just happens."

"My neighbour advised me to go to one of those chaps who sit by the roadside."

"You mean that pin man?"


This neighbour of hers seemed to be a very dangerous man. Besides
using pins, he was sending her to such quacks. The only safety he knew
was among the pins. "You were wise not to heed his advice."

"But I tried his other advice. He told me to put warm oil inside and
wait. However, that also did not work."

This was getting more and more bizarre. Her neighbour deserved to be
locked up either in a padded cell or a barred one.

"But have you taken your husband's permission?"

Now the patient looked confused. "Do I have to take my husband's
permission? Because if you need his sign, he is working in Dubai . We
were not able to meet for the last one year."

It was my turn to be shocked. I gave a sly smirk. It was one of
'those' cases. The pin-wielding neighbour seemed to me the usual
suspect. I reassured her. "No! No! The husband's sign is not at all

"However, I did inform him on phone."

Her husband seemed to me a very broad-minded fellow. I didn't know
whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her. So I hastily
turned to other aspects. " Its good that you came a bit early."

"Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but I had some other work."

"Oh! I did not mean early today. I meant that if you had delayed this
removal, it would have started moving. Then it would have developed a

The patient was staring at me wide eyed as if watching a horror movie.
Looking at her face, I decided that she was not fit to listen to the
grotesque details. I decided to relieve her a bit. I said, "You will
bleed a bit, but only for a few days."

By now, the poor patient was trembling, "how-H-How much bleeding?"

"Oh, only slightly more than your menstrual period, and it will
continue only for a week or so."

By now the patient was clutching her hair in her fingers and staring
at me wide-eyed. I asked her soothingly, "Why don't you lie down on
the examination table? Remove your underclothes and relax."

This was the final straw. She didn't even wish me goodbye. I saw just
a blur of motion leaving my consulting room at top speed.

Kishore Shah 1974

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Fairy tale of hairy tailed Melon, the collie

Being really good with his paws Melon the collie tied one end of the hammok to the balcony railing.
The other end was tied aroung his neck as a noose.

He then jumped, to what he hoped would be his death, but the stupid people who lived in the flat below his master's wanted to "save" him. The whiplash broke his spine, but he was "rescued" before his life could be squeezed out.

His master KNEW Melon wanted to "live on" and so refused to put him to sleep. Melon continued his sorry existence in a dilapidated state. This was even worse than the boredom he jumped to escape from in the first place.

This is when Melon the collie muttered his ironicaly immortal words

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Fairy tale

The barrel of the gun in my mouth
Lived happily ever after....
well I was dead....
Hell 3 out of 4 ain't bad!

Monday, October 30, 2006


We the people on NDTV had this debate yesterday about the veil issue and Shabana Azmi's comments about it.

One thing every body kept repeating was....It is my CHOICE, and I have the freedom of choice.

Choice is something you make once you take a look at both sides of the argument.
I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't wear a skirt. Well I don't do these things coz I was brought up to think these were not right....well the skirt part was for guys....err ok not scottish guys....any way so when somebody is brought up looking at people around you doing things one way. You try doing it some other way.....THEN WHAT YOU DECIDE IS YOUR CHOICE. Following what everybody around you is doing is not a CHOICE.

Another argument was (m not making this up).....if a pastry is covered with glass or a black sheet it is still covered. Counter point - a pastry covered with glass will tempt me but a pastry covered a black cloth will not.
Both these speakers were women (shouting there point)....and they say men treat women as a comodity!! SHEESH!

One good point(which has been proven again and again and again).....why do men not cover themselves?? can't they tempt women?? that you have stopped laughing, think of all th ewomen screaming when salman takes of his shirt....why the double standard?? why the hypocrisy?

Thursday, October 26, 2006


Like to read??

Don't know which book to pick up??

Try THIS!!

Monday, October 16, 2006

The RIGHT thing to do

They were amongst the last remaining Hindus in the newly spawned country.

He was standing in the middle of the only road leading out of their village towards what was supposed to be THEIR country now. It was also the path to certain death. Their Muslim bretheren were ready for them. Just like he was when his Muslims neighbours had fled their homes while he burnt them.

He could see his own house burning although he was facing away from it with his back to the boundry wall. He could see the flames in his 12 year old sister's eyes. He had blanked out everything. Even the low consistent moan of his mother sitting next to his fathers bleeding lifeless body. Then he heard her say....Son, kill us both, don't let them take us.

He took out the country pistol from underneath his kurta. His sister's eyes were dripping tears from the flames that were burning his house. He put the gun in her mouth, he wanted it to be quick.

She could feel the cold metal in her mouth. She could smell and taste of the gunpowder that was going to be her last memory. This was not right. Her baba had told her taking a life was not right in any circumstance. His brother was 18. He was taking the easy way out she tought. This was not the right thing to do. he was supposed to take care of her, protect her. He HAD to honour the rakhi she tied on his wrist. The burning sensation lasted for a second, as her lifeless body colapsed to the ground.

She had borne great pains to get her kids to the world. This was not what she had hoped for their future. But she couldn't imagine whatr the mob would do with them once they get hold of women. Their young son can take care of himself. Atleast the seed of their family will survive. That is all she wanted. She commanded her son to kill her. This was the right thing to do , atleast the family will continue....the gunshot was drowned by the sound of their grandfathers home buckling under the flames.

WHAT HAS HE DONE?? His father had succumbed to his wounds. The lifeless bodies of his family were in front of him. He had just killed his defenseless mom and sister. He didn't deserve a life. There was nothing to live for any more. He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. That was the only thing left to do, the right thing to do....

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Why some X-cricketers should just SHUT UP!

"Dhoni, to my mind, has the ability to bring players together... because of the diversity in India, our captain has to be someone who can 'unite' everybody..."
Kapil Dev might just have hit upon the solution to all of the nation's problems. Dhoni for President?


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Freedom of the press

Pranoy Roy goes on about how free the Indian press is as compared to many developed nations.

I HAVE to agree with him about that. Case in point the pic printed in TOI Bangalore times dated friday 29th Sept 2006.
How if this freedom u ask...well before 29th Sept...THIS is how Samuel Jackson looked like...

The only problem we need to let Mr Jackson know that he has recently changed colours...

Thursday, September 28, 2006


And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!

From RATM - Killing in the name of

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Moby - Porcelain

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Source -

P.S. - Lyrics not complete and have been edited slightly.

Monday, September 18, 2006


Watched 50 first dates for the 51st time today. Nice idea. Can't be done but a nice idea.

I can't do it. I just can't take care of somebody else. I have seen my dad take care of mum for 5 years.....watching her die an knowing it.

I can't do it. I won't do it.

It is not for me. It is not ME.

I'm gonna take a break for a while.

See you guys on the other side.

Friday, September 15, 2006

What did YOU learn today?

Took this wierd route to get some new reading material today.....predictably started from music

No remorse (I wanna die) -> Slayer -> Atari Teenage Riot -> Neo Nazis -> Savitri Devi Mukherji + Holocaust Denial.

I do not endorse any of this Supremist Bullshit, but something I did not know is the extent of it's existence !!!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A hair racking experience

Background: My dad is a retired IAF officer. As you must have seen in most of the movies ALL the people (men that is) have verrrry simillar hair cuts. The reason.....well most of us are used to this routine: get to barber shop, sit on the chair, and tell him "Bhaiya baal chote kaat dena" (brother, cut em short). He takes care of the rest. So I'm not used to giving direction around my head.

Subject: Me, well I m a VERRY lazy and nervous person. Also, I am a civillian now. We(me and dad) recently shifted to J.P.Nagar 7th phase. After postponing geting a Hair cut for a month I had an afro which Carlos Alberto Valderrama Palacio would be proud of. Don't belive be(i have a cold)? THIS is what happens if I let my hair grow. Anyway so I landed up at the first place I could locate near my place. It was something called schwarzkopf(NOOOO IT IS NOT A BEAUTY SHOP! I AM NOT RETRO, METRO or ELEVATED RAILWAY SEXUAL! to go to a beauty saloon).

The Barbartist: Well that was a surprise.
1) He had long hair (a la Sanjay Dutt)
2) His shirt was not unbuttoned and CLEAN!!!
3) He was wearing an earring.
4) He was not burping AT ALL! (I was there around lunch time)

Close encounter of the Nth kind: As I told you earlier I am a nervous and lazy guy. I HATE people looking at me. So the fact that he had a full length mirror in front of me and every time I looked up this great looking dude (me) was staring at me, made matters worse. Now the barbartist was looking at me. I said short on the side, upar(top) se medium. I KNOW, he should know this without me having to tell him!!!

Any way if you noticed I called him a Barbartist. Well surprisingly it had a reason. This guy used to cut my hair then stare at my head (along with the guy in the mirror) think(!!!!) about his next move and then continue. Also, when you are using sharp objects on me, I would appriciate it if you place your weapons in front of me on a table so that I know what is coming next. But, our dude had this black apron and stuff appeared magically from its pockets. Sharp stuff that too!!!
After about an hour and lots of false alarms (His moment of deep thinking, when my head and hair were screaming, MUJHE BHAGWAAN KE LIYE CHOD(means let me go....not what you thought) DO and I was about to leap out of teh chair, the DUDE would start again!!! ) He did let me go.

This one hour period was punctuated with:
1) Him wetting my hair (With a spray of water u pervert)
2) Pulling my hair. That is how he decided if the length was uniform, pull the hair whatever was left protruding from his fist would be slaughtered
3) His switching the A.C. (yup they had an A.C) on and off. Not sure if it was for my cofort, his comfort or saving the electricity bill.
4) Him Mauling me. The excuse? Head massage!!!

I left the place feeling pretty light, my wallet that is!!!

BTW if you are wonderring about the mirror thing. About how have I been getting a haircut all this while....well the "BARBER SHOPS" usually hav a mirror behind you too and a tv playing some movie in a language that you do not understand and the guy in the mirror gets distracted and keeps looking at the T.V and not me!!! There HAPPY??

Friday, September 08, 2006

This is an untitled post!

Watched "the life and death of peter sellers" starring Geoffrey Rush on HBO some time this week. Sellers is the same guy who had you in splits in the pink panther series(TADAN TADAN TADAN TADAN try humming the bond theme...irritating isin't it? ;)). Well you never know what is going on in someone's life now do you??

Trivia: He played a tripple role in Kubrik's Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Which ones? well figure that out when you watch the movie (NOooo not from wiki...when you watch the MOVIE!!).

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The LIVE experience

People usually wonder why pay so much to hear an artist in concert? just go buy his/her cd...

Well the following are some lines from Jagjit singh's concert....not available on the usual album (well yeah you can buy the album of the concert but if u thought of that then tsk tsk tsk!)

mazar-e-kais par jab ruh-e-laila ek din aayi
to armanon ke murjhae hue kuch phool bhi layi...

lagi jab phool rakhne, to kabr se awaz ye aayi
chadana phool magar janemann, AHISTAAA AHISTAA!!

woh bedardi se sar kaatain ameer, aur main kahun unse..
huzooor ahista ahista, janab aahista....ahista.
[yahan huzoor aur janab main wahi farak hai jo lukhnow aur punjab main hai...juggu]

Some Gyan

Things seldom workout themselves...
They usually need a personal trainer!



Selected lines from one of (sung by him) Jagjit Singh's ghazals...

satayegi jab chandini ki udasi...
dukhayegi dil jab fiza ki khamoshi.

uffaq ki taraf khali nazrain jama kar...
kabhi jo na socha woh socha karogi.

Kabhi dil ki dhadkan mehsoos hogi...
kabhi thandi saanso ke toofan uthenge.

kabhi gir ke bistar pe aahen bharogi...
Kabhi jhuk ke takiye pe roya karogi.

Jawani ke heere, haya ke bahane...
yeh maana ki tum mujhse parda karogi.

Yeh duniya magar tujhse bholi nahin hai...
chuppa kar mohobbat ko ruswa karogi.

P.S. - not sure if the spellings are correct.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Thursday, August 31, 2006

I belong to HER

I was born for her,
Just like everybody else, I'll have my chance.

My first cry was a call to her,
26 years hence, I'm still waitng for the moment

I have seen people reach her,
The peace of getting the final piece of the puzzle.

It is not a matter of choice, or chance,
It is just a matter of when.

She waits for me, with her arms wide open,
She will not judge me, just make me a part of eternity.

I can't see her face, I can't tell you if she is smiling,
I don't know if the tears on her face are of joy or sorrow.

Then I get out of my bed, and walk down the corridor,
She is standing there waiting for me.

I have never felt more alive,as the breeze blows through my hair,
As I fall from the 10th floor balcony, to reach her, where all of us were born to be.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


This post exists because of Praveer's comment (he doesn't blog anymore so linking this to his face :).....) on this earlier post.

So I obviously landed on to this wiki page on Ron Mueck. I did not actually think it was art. That was because of two reasons

1) I do not understand art or what comprises art.
2) The pics on the page just looked like...well photographs.

NOW the punch....these ARE his sculptures.....I am posting the blown up pics of his creations (courtesy wiki) so that you can see the level of details and U tell ME if it is art??

P.S. I am a believer now....thanks Pravs!!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Dead Calm

Standing in line at the post office.
The counter for monthly income and senior citizen schemes.

Completely surrounded by old age
As nervous as I have EVER been

He can't see properly,
has to use a magnifying glass to sign the withdrawal slip.

She can't hear her cell phone ringing.
When she does, it takes her a while to figure out who's call it is.

Their readiness to help each other out.
The guy who can't hear properly, helping out the one who can't see.

The calm with which they stand in a queue.
In no hurry to get their money.

The politeness with which they lend you a pen,
coz you forgot to get one in the hurry of getting there.

The thoroughness with which they confirm the transaction,
Just to be sure, sure for the 100th time.

The fact that they won't stare at you,
coz, you did not let them overtake you.

The fact that they won't start honking,
Coz ur bike in front of their car just won't start, but the light has turned green.

In no hurry to get anywhere,
It is just a wait now.....

I was surrounded by a dead calm,
but it just made me uneasy and nervous.

As nervous as I have EVER been!!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Of cups and vellas

I used to think a capella is a group Francis ford coppola fans. Then I watched American Desi. U might remember the version of old hindi songs in that movie. Basically all the harmonies are created by the artists with a very minimal or NO use of musical instruments.The Band is called Penn Masala. A band comprsing of Penn state students and hence the name.....

Their compilation album(Best of if you like...) is called "Out Of stock" and well it IS out of stock. Now the problem is I can't get my hands on it. So, if you can let me know how do I get this one PLEASE post a comment....

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Wishes and Hopes - II

He Hopes,
Kids don't have to walk barefoot and half naked,
Through the slime, human and otherwise...
He can see, one such kid smiling when his half naked dad
holds onto him.....hope still floats.

He Hopes,
People relax, and stop being in such a hurry to get there,
only to realise ,the have to get a hurry.
He can see their wives/girlfriends calming them down,
so that they can spend some more time together.....hope still floats.

He Hopes,
He stops being cynical,
Politicians stop screwing the country,
Hopes for world peace....Ah well 1 outa 3 aint bad....
Hope still gasps for air...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Cover charge!

When I look for new artists to listen to I usually pick up "the Best of" titles or some OST. Once I like a particular song, then starts the shopping spree looking for the "well known" albums. I hate listening to covers of famous songs only to find out that these "artists" had just butchered the songs.

Now, there is an exception to the rule. Yesterday's, telecast of Michael Buble's "Caught in the act" concert Star world actually proved that this chap HAS talent. His originals were punctuated with a healthy dose of classics from Ray charles and other legends. He also played stuff like "sway with me". His style is more that of a crooner...a la Sinatra and the rat pack. So if you like that kind of music, you will surely enjoy this guy.

Here are the lyrics to one of Michael Buble's originals (is also on the ost of the date movie..I think :))
Worth a listen!

Song - Save the last dance for me
Album - it's time

You can dance-every dance with the guy
Who gives you the eye and let him hold you tight
You can smile-every smile for the man
Who held your hand neath the candle light
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me

Oh I know that the musics fine
Like sparklin' wine and go and have your fun
Laugh and sing and but while we're apart
Don't give your heart to anyone
But don't forget who's takin' you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darlin' save the last dance for me

Baby don't you know I love you so
Can't you feel it when we touch
I will never never let you go
I love you oh so much

You can dance and go and carry ON
Till the night is gone
And it's time to go
If he asks if you're all alone
Can he take you home and you must tell him no
'Cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling and save the last dance for me

'Cause don't forget who's taking you home
And in whose arms you're gonna be
So darling and save the last dance for me
Save the last dance for me
Save the last dance for me


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Wishes and Hopes - I

He wishes he was happy

She makes him happy

When a gust of wind brings her scent, before her,
When he can see the smile on her face.
When her eyes are locked on him,
brimming with the joy of seeing him again...
THIS makes him happy

When he can feel her fingers entwined with his,
When he touches her soft skin.
When her hands are holding on to him,
her head on his shoulder as they walk around...
THIS makes him happy

When he can buy her something that is of no use her , but of value,
When she haggles for the price, the difference of no use to her.
When she laughs outloud, because he is embarrased by this,
throws her head back in laughter and holds him close to her.....
THIS makes him happy

When he can touch her earrings,
When he holds on to her ring around his neck.
When he teases her about what she is wearing,
and she just looks at him, smiles and hides in his arms...
THIS makes him happy

He has never been happier,
He hopes no one asks him WHAT makes him happy.

Monday, August 21, 2006

The K9 Dil-e-mama

Should/Could a dog own a dog??

P.S. - blog turned 2 in May - Belated haffy boithday!
2 posts ago I posted the 100th post - well played well played :D

Friday, August 18, 2006

The lost gem

Recently the movie "Bluffmaster" was a rage in urban India. The soundtrack was pretty funky assorted collection of old songs remixed, some new "hip-hop" tunes (Desi ishtyle) and a coup[le of tracks by Trickbaby. If you remember the nasal twang in the song "say na say na"...THAT was Trickbaby....for the record, I LOATH that song. So why am I writing this? Wellllllll...this band had released an album earlier....Hanging around I think it was called. You might remember the single "Slipping Through Your Fingers". Well the same album had this song. It wasn't a remix and surprisingly nice to hear. Worth a listen....

Band: Trickbaby(wiki page)
Song: Sea of Stories
Album: Hanging Around

Curled around my roots you built your house on me
Tired to your lazy bones securing my affection
Tugging at the space – it’s my sweet liberty
Man of you disposition never known rejection
I will not be bought
Like a rare endangered butterfly I’ve bee caught

Captured in your net – in the sea of your stories
Opened up my mind to infinite glories
Holding up the stars I don’t want the night to end
I thank you God it was an angel that you sent

Crying in the square is this the way to live
Kiss away the solitude – I think I’ve fallen
Running in the dark we play the fugitive
Secrets of women I have learned but have not spoken
I will not be bought like a rare endangered butterfly I’ve been caught

Caught in your net
In the sea of your love
Opened my mind
Now I can’t get enough
Hold onto stars
As I hold onto you
I’m thanking you God
The angel is you


Thursday, August 17, 2006

Drunk and desperate = Dogs!

Got a SMS from a friend at about 5:30 in the morning. She was really pissed about something. A really bad day. That was wierd given the fact she had just returned from a party(stop, don't make assumptions...I know her and what u r thinking is not correct)!! Anyhow, I gave her a call and could make out she had been crying. As it turned out, a couple of guys got drunk, and started fighting over her at the party. The scene was ambarrasing no doubt. Here is the clincher...they actually blamed HER for the whole mess coz she didn't wanna have anything to do with either of them. She was sober, and these jerks were sloshed!

The fact that they were elder to her doesn't hold coz men are about 4 years behind their age in maturity anyway....but I for the life of me CAN NOT understand how the FUCK can you treat a girl as a bloody commodity man! Just because YOU have a miserable love life and she is out of your is not HER fault....that is your "manufacturing defect" !!

On top of that when you can't hold on to your alcohol....shut your mouth and drink water!! How can you live with your self when you let some liquid actually control you and the next day you end up grovelling for forgiveness!

Anyway men are dogs guys be a GOOD DOG....and BEHAVE!!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

The wait

He waits for the wind to blow,
to blow in his direction.
Maybe it will carry her sweet smell along,
maybe it will stop hurting so bad.

He waits for his eyes to close,
her memories to fill his mind.
Maybe it will be her next time,
maybe he will be able to hold on next time

He waits for her to wake up,
to look at him and smile.
Maybe next time he will be able to watch her sleep,
maybe she will be able to help him sleep

He waits for it to get cold,
for her ring around his neck touch him and take his breath away.
Maybe next time it will be her touch,
maybe THIS time he won't have to wait.....

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

best of Kailasa

I had bought this Kailash Kher album after the music channels and RAVE drilled into my mind "HOW BRILLIANT THE ALBUM IS" IS a good album, but not a work of genius from any angle. It still has it's moments though...It is hard to miss "Teri deewani" after the kind of airplay it got. A new video is doing the rounds too, I forget the name of teh song... One song that deserves a special mention is "Kaise main kahun"....after the first time I heard the song, I was surprised this was not the first single that was are the lyrics....but u GOTTA listen to it ASAP and u'll get what I am "RAVE"ing about :) ...

Song: Kaise main kahun
Artist: Kailash Kher
Album: Kailasa

yahaa wahaa jahaa tahaa udati phiroon
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq huaa hai

dhadke yeh jorr jorr bhadake yeh chaaro aor
woh kyaa jaane chit-chor woh hai chandaa main chakor
bhole bhaale matwaale dil kaa kyaa karun
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq huaa hai
logon se sunaa hai mujhe ishq huaa hai
dharati pe aaj kal paaon naa dharoon
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq huaa hai
logo se sunaa hai mujhe ishq huaa hai

saari saari raat aur saaraa saaraa din
har ghadi har pal pal chhin chhin
ulti sidhi behaki behaki baatein main karoon
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq hauaa hai
logon se sunaa hai mujhe ishq huaa hai

chandaa ko rijhaaun kabhi taaron ko rijhaaun main
apne piyaa ko lekin sabse chupaaun main
unko padi hai kyaa main jiyoon yaa maroon
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq hauaa hai
logon se sunaa hai mujhe ishq huaa hai
yahaa wahaa jahaa tahaa udati phiroon
dharati pe aaj kal paaon naa dharoon
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq hauaa hai
logon se sunaa hai mujhe ishq huaa hai
kaise main kahun ki mujhe ishq huaa hai
logon se sunaa hai mujhe ishq huaa hai

ho mujhe ishq huaa hai
ho mujhe ishq huaa hai


Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Lost my aunt (dad's sister) to Breast Cancer today. My mum and her sister(my fav aunt) were also taken away from me by the same dreaded disease. I'm sad for the loss and somewhat relieved that she doesn't have to suffer any more. Tommorow is Rakhi, dad will be quite down tomorrow and there is nothing I can do about it.....

This one helped me get through my mum's death...the first time I cried after her death was when I heard this one...

Eric Clapton - Tears in heaven

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry ON,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven.

Time can bring you down and time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart and have you begging please,
Begging please.

Beyond the DOOR there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven.

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry ON,
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven.


Monday, August 07, 2006

Dylan's Magic

If you do not know who Bob Dylan is.....please shoot yourself.
He is ONE artist you can NEVER get sick of hearing.

One such creation of his:

Song: I want you
Album: Blonde on Blonde

The guilty undertaker sighs,
The lonesome organ grinder cries,
The silver saxophones say I should refuse you.
The cracked bells and washed-out horns
Blow into my face with scorn,
But it's not that way,
I wasn't Born to lose you.
I want you and I want you,
I want you so bad,
Honey and I want you.

The drunken politician leaps
Upon the street where mothers weep
And the saviors who are fast asleep,
They wait for you.
And I wait for them to interrupt
Me drinkin' from my broken cup
And ask me to
Open up the gate for you.
I want you and I want you,
I want you so bad,
Honey and I want you.

Now all my fathers and they've gone down
True love they've been without it.
But all their daughters put me down
'Cause I don't think about it.

Well and I return to the Queen of Spades
And talk with my chambermaid.
She knows that I'm not afraid
To look at her.
She is good to me
And there's nothing she doesn't see.
She knows where I'd like to be
But it doesn't matter.
I want you and I want you,
I want you so bad,
Honey and I want you.

Now your dancing child with his Chinese suit,
He spoke to me and I took his flute.
No and I wasn't very cute to him,
Was I?
But I did it, though and because he lied
Because he took you for a ride
And because time was ON his side
And because I...
I want you and I want you,
I want you so bad,
Honey and I want you

Source for the lyrics

Sunday, July 30, 2006

...and it happened

He saw her, coming up to him...
She was just as he remembered,
He had never met her, he knew her for ages...
Time didn't exist any longer.

She embraced him, she had missed him,
He sat there frozen and numb, not knowing what to do....
He absorbed her presence..
Never to lose this moment till he dies.

She looked at him, he couldn't meet her gaze,
He felt guilty or shy or confused...
He thought of something silly to say, something absurd, something funny,
But he no longer knew how to speak...

The lights went dim...
Their fingers intertwined,
Her fingers on his chest...
His lips on her forehead.

Through the darkness ...
In the dim light that only a distant movie can cast,
He saw her hair on her face, and her big beautiful eyes on him,
He kissed her fingers...not knowing how can he be this lucky.

She cuddled up besides him,
With the arm of a chair seperating them...
Trying to freeze the moment in time,
While the guy on the next seat orderd food.

They roamed like two long lost friends...
They had never met before,
She trying to hold his hand in the jacket pocket...
He trying to get the ticket stub between their hands.

He wanted to hold her,
He wanted to hold on...
He didn't want to get back home,
He didn't want the world to exist.

They just sat their, with water droplets troubling them every few seconds...
They could not be bothered...
Not anymore,
Not ever.

The ride back didn't make sense...
The sounds from the jealous people around couldn't reach 'em,
It didn't matter when they got there...
Coz they didn't wanna get there, they just had to.

He will always remember her last touch...
Her face while she smiled her goodbye.
Her fingers longing for a touch, a final touch...
The sadness in her eyes.

They might meet again,
They might never...
It may never happen,
But this is their's, forever and eternity...

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Blast from the past

Romanticizing the past is a natural passtime of any body who actually has a past. If you don't have regrets in your life (not too many i.e.) then you wish you were actually in an entirely different scenario as compared to the one you are currently in.

Anybody who is into music, DOES tend to "think" that the music of the years gone by was better than what is being dished out now....this is not only true for music of the current day and age....the same thing did happen with our parents and theirs and etc.....

All of you who like classic rock and like concerts, surely wish you were there at the first woodstock... This wishfull thinking always gets people stuck in Flower power era and the swinging sixties. Of protest marches and anti-establishment and freedom....we do not know what was wrong with thoes time coz history is seldom balanced....very few accounts of history mention the grey areas and are usually black or white....assuming everything from that time was great....hell, why assume, just get this song and you'll know what I mean....

Artist: Sandi Thom
Song: I wish I was a punk rocker
Album: confuses people

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was Born too late and to a world that doesn't care

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn.t know everything

When popstars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
When my mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

When record shops were ON top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs,
And playing games meant kick arounds
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

I was Born too late to a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

Lyrics from lyrics and songs

P.S: The song is pretty nice too :)

Monday, July 24, 2006

15 Seconds of fame........via SMS

Can't think of a life without a mobile phone? me neither......wonder what would have happened if theree were no mobiles, and the Mumbai blasts had happened. Actually they did in 1993 but cannot analyze that as people were not actually addicted at that time. The jamming of the mobile networks DID add to the panic, but for the people who actually did get through to their dear ones, nothing could have been better.

This, however, is not the reason of my posting this one.....This weekend, a 5-6 year old kid got stuck in a 60 ft deep well (got stuck as a 5 year old and came out as a 6 year old, nope this is not a M.N. Shyamalan movie). How do mobiles come in? Well the recent sprouting of news channels like weeds in a garden has lead to a dirth in the stuff that is called news. Rescuing a 5-6 yr old from a 60 ft deep well is still a news story...the problem is to keep viewers hooked on to your channel and not go to the next news channel showing the same BREAKING STORY, albeit the anchor looks better, or worse and you change the channel again. This is where the mobile N/W kicks in again....

The Channel lets you send SMS and they will air it in real time. This funda works when there is a debate, or when you need to get in touch with people (a la Mumbai Blasts). It doesn't work when you wan't people to SMS about a rescue effort!!!

The kind of SMSes were:

Does the news channel have the mobile number of your "GOD"??

yup he feels better now, YOU MORON, if he could get ur SMS he won't be on the NEWZ!!

yeah, rite......he will feel much better now

"MY GOD" will save Prine, i prayed to him...
Only if you Pray to the Indian Army!!!

The fact is, (if the sentiments are genuine, which I doubt) these are valid emotions but

It is just that you can see your name(place) on air for the 15 seconds of Fame that was alloted to you, the question is did you actually waste your share of the 15 seconds and won't be able to get on air when you discover time travel???

Thursday, July 20, 2006


This is how heaven will be.....I hope......details of the pic here

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Helpin them out....

Got this forward.....please do the needful, if u wanna help out.....not a hoax....

Please visit the following link and light an e-candle for the Mumbai Victims. For every candle lit - CNN-IBN channel is giving 1 Rupee to the victims. Please send
this to as many people as you know:

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Are we missing out?

Read this. This was written by Raymond Smullyan. It is a bit long but worth it. Now replace laughter with any "mental disease" of your choice. Now telll me are they sick or are we missing out on something???

Terror revisited

I am not a Mumbaikar. I am an Indian. What happened yesterday was disturbing. We have become used to people getting their brains blown off in Srinagar. Yesterday just showed us HOW vulnerable we are irrespective of the faliure or success of the AGNI III missile.

Whatever I say or write here can not help any of those affected by yesterdays tragedy. All I and am sure everybody else can say is hang on.....We hope the renowned spirit of Mumbai will get you guys through.....

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tech singularities

This one is in response Ian Stewart's response to my previous post. So Instead of puting this as a comment I thought of referring this paper by Verner Vinge.

Ian what you say makes perfect sense, but Insteadf of me quoting Mr Vinge, the paper actually looks at all the other aspects of what you said and also co-operation between Artificial Intelligence and Intelligence amplification!!

P.S. The paper is WORTH a read!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

of Ultraintelligence and technological singularities!

From wiki...

In 1965, statistician I. J. Good described a scenario more like the Singularity in that it emphasized the effects of superhuman intelligence:

"Let an ultraintelligent machine be defined as a machine that can far surpass all the intellectual activities of any man however clever. Since the design of machines is one of these intellectual activities, an ultraintelligent machine could design even better machines; there would then unquestionably be an 'intelligence explosion,' and the intelligence of man would be left far behind. Thus the first ultraintelligent machine is the last invention that man need ever make."
My Take: In refn to the last statement, if man was capable of making an ultraintelligent machine at all, then MAN himself was the ultraintelligent machine of the previous iteration. So we are already in a technological singularity!!

Monday, July 03, 2006

I'm Done...(actually, well done)

Finally got hold of a shot gun yesterday.
Pointed it at my face, wanted to blow out my brains and see it coming too.
I missed.

The right side of my face is missing.
Can see my ear lying on the floor.
Can feel the warmth of my blood flowing down my back.

I put the gun in my mouth,
I can see my brains dripping from the ceiling.

I am too tired to continue,
Drop to my knees,
FUCK, I screwed the carpet.
Ah, freedom ATLAST!

The Doors - The End (part of it...)

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend and the end

Of our elaborate plans and the end
Of everything that stands and the end
No safety or surprise and the end
I'll never look into your eyes.. again

Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need.. of some.. stranger's hand
In a.. desperate land

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend and the end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

m screwed ain't I?

I hate my cell phone...
I keep checking it if I missed a call

I hate following a routine...
I m scared of change

I hate being mediocre...
I am void of talent

I hate hip-hop...
I can't stop tapping my foot to it's beat.

I hate it when people misspell things...
I can't spell for shit

I hate it when people sing along in a party...
My voice is usually the loudest

I hate people who judge me...
I need to know what people think about me

I hate taking care of somebody else anybody...
I am not self involved (I try my best)

I hate spending money...
I can't live without shopping

I hate charity...
I live for free stuff

I hate people who explain things in detail...
I NEED all the answers

I hate when people keep changing channels...
I can't watch a channel for more than a minute

I hate sleeping too much...
I can't get my ass out of bed

I hate being materialistic...
I am materialistic

I don't care if you read this post...
I am wondering why didn't you post a comment

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


One of the most sexist and gender skewed posts I have EVER read.....checkout this link

Monday, June 26, 2006

Another one bites the dust

Another weekend gone.....15th day of sleep deprevation!

Saturday: Watched Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb by Stanley Kubrick interesting muvi, nice idea and worth in monochrome so gotta get used to it.....finished watchin The big Lebowski starring Jeff Bridges, Juliane Moore, Seymore Hoffman (Capote), John goodman....yup an all star cast, din't like the movie tho', something was missing can't figure out what but still, not the usual run of the mill comedy....just about watchable I guess...sis came back from a Nokia 3250 :) (yup...Parental advisory.. the gloating starts NOW!)
Got a couple of CDz
Apocalyptica - Plays metallica by 4 cellos A really diferent take on metallica, still as powerfull as always.....

Rammstein - Mutter
YUP, it is in German. No, I do not understand German....but is still a GREAT BUY!! If you do not know who(or what) Rammstein is then in the muvi xXx (vin diesel flick) during the first sequence a band is playing and a lot of fireworks are at work well THAT is these guys....

Also, FINALLY got my hands on Capote's In cold blood will start that one soon...I hope....lotsa chocs too.....spent the rest of the day- night, whatever was left, fiddling wid the phone, watchin WC (let down!!) and the test match......

Sunday: Watched Raging Bull Deniro is AMAZING in this one, better than his performance in Taxi Driver almost done with Maximum City, ONE GREAT BOOK this of the few books that were able to keep me away from the PC and the tube!! what else, pestered sis....and the WC yeah the WC
England is screwed (or so I thot..) Erikson is a defensive ninkampoop!! man how can somebody sap out all the creativity from a side and make them play like Egypt!! Oh, yeah I know, make substitutions....but then came the battle of Neuremberg....Portugeese Vs Dutch......Ronaldo gets injured 15 yellow cards, 4 red cards, the Russian ref's biceps must be as big as the incredible hulk now....1-0 to Portugal....wok, England are not screwed...WHY? well half the bludy side is on yellows...decco and costiniah can't play the next, ronaldo is injured (not sure if he'll play the next one!!)....MAN, it WAS like a boxing match (for once I agree wid the "expert" pannel)....neway....gotta finish the book......lotsa muviz to watch.....lets wait for the next pit stop (yup missed the F1 race, coz of Mr. Suketu Mehta)

Friday, June 23, 2006

For old times' sake!

I have a 20 GB ipod and I'm usually plugged to it.No i'm not gloating, well not a lot any way. Since, nano was released, quite a few people have asked me why do I need so much space?(the ipod i.e. not talking about the space my ass is taking, that is wasted real estate any way). They usually rationalize it this way..

1) The pod is too heavy
2) u are not going to listen to all 5000 songz any way!!
by now the earphones are blareing again so not sure about the rest of em.....

1) I drag my ass around don't I? whats a few more grams around the waist?
2) Yeah, by that logic I need just one song on the pod right?? NINKAMPOOP!!

That out of the way, the problem is this. Since I have most of my collection on the pod, the play lists become really, REALLY long. Some of them have music worth a week. Some, songs are obviously forgotten about coz of this. When they play again the next time it is like meeting a old friend (who u were sick off after spending all the time with). Found two such "friendz" yesterday.

1) Daniel Powter - Bad day (Nice video too)
Trivia: American Idol used this one through out the 05-06 season

Where is the moment when we need it the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is Lost
They tell me your blue sky's faded to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carrying ON

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way OFF line
You're falling to pieces every time And I don't need no carrying ON

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile
And you go for a ride
You had a bad day

The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carrying ON

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
Youhad a bad day
You had a bad day

Sometimes the system goes ON the blink and the whole thing it turns out Wrong
You might not make it back and you know that you could be well oh that Strong
Well I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is Lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You see what you like
And how does It feel and one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

2) Afro celt sound system and Peter Gabriel- When you are falling (this is a much older one, and makes much more sense with the video...)

Trivia - Afro celt is actually the best selling band on Peter Gabriel's record label

Everyday and you crawl into the night
A fallen angel and with your wings set alight
When you hit the ground
Everything turns to blue
I can't get through the smoke
That's surrounding you

Cause when falling
I can.t tell which way is down
And when screaming
Somehow I don't hear a sound
And when you're seeing things
Then your feet don.t touch the ground
Cause when you're falling
I can't tell which way is down

I can see through the clouds
I can walk right through the walls
Hang me OFF the ceiling
But I can't take the fall
Should have crossed the river
But I may get swept away
Out there ON the water
You can still see me wave

Cause when you're falling
I can't tell which way is down
When you're falling
I can't tell which way is down
I keep seeing all those things
My feet don't touch the ground

Cause when falling
I can.t tell which way is down
And when screaming
Somehow I don't hear a sound
And when you're seeing things
Then your feet don.t touch the ground

Cause when you're falling
I can't tell which way is down

Man I forgot how great these were...

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Wanted to add this one to my collection for quite some time.....Thanks to Praveer and Pulkit got it yesterday

Movie - Main, meri Patni aur woh
Artist - Mohit Chauhan (Lead singer of the now defunct band Silk Route, I guess the music also was done by him....)
Song - Guncha (A bud)

guncha koi, mere naam kar diya
saki ne phir se mera, jaam bhar diya
guncha koi

tum jaise koi nahi, is jahan main
subeh ko teri zulf ne, shaam kar diya
saki ne phir se mera, jaam bhar diya
guncha koi

mehfil main baar baar idhar, dekha kiye
aankhon ki zanzeeron ko mere, naam kar diya
saki ne phir se mera, jaam bhar diya
guncha koi

hoosh Bekhabar se hue, un ke bagair
hoosh Bekhabar se hue, un ke bagair
wo jo humse keh na sake, dil ne keh diya

saki ne phir se mera, jaam bhar diya
guncha koi

guncha koi, mere naam kar diya
saki ne phir se mera, zaam bhar diya

You can have a listen HERE

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The fool's last sigh!

khoi ho,
Yadon main,
palko pe bondein liye,

aaina bani
yeh aankhe teri,

dheemi si, khushboo hai,
havaon ke jhonkon ne jo,
chu ke tujhe....churaai

Sanson ki, rahon main,
kya mil sakenge kabhi
dhoonde tujhe nigahain meri

saathi the, janmo se,
raho mai kyun kho gaye,
manzil humain bulane lagi,

nagma ho.. bheega sa,
ya tum ho koi ghazal
har pal jisse gunganata rahun,

hothon see, haule see,
sargam jo behne lagi,
gaane lagi, chahain mere

Band - Silk Route
Song - Boondein
Album - Boondein

M too fukin tired now.....will see u guyz in a few....

P.S. - Can somebody help me get Mohit Chauhan's - guncha....PLEASE!

Round trip to Heaven

Had a 30 minutes stay in heaven yesterday. Dj was my PC. Du Hast had the company of
I love the way you move - Bodyrockers
Galvanize - Chemical Bros.

Man my neck hurt this BAD after a loooong looooong time. The neighbours must have had a party (if they have a good taste in music i.e.)

Note to self: do not headbang near the PC with wet hair to avoid cleaning up the keyboard later!!

The downside: Fell asleep at Half time of the Eng Vs Sweeden game....missed a good game, AAAAAAH CRAP!!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

So, what is it worth to you?

Ranvijay was a typical rich, spoilt brat. Hated his parents for not understanding him or spending more time with him. He loved their money.

9:45p.m. He had to get to the pub by 10. All his "friends" must be waiting, "let those vultures wait", he thought. The party was typical, booze, girls, music, cocaine. Rajiv, the bartender that night was thanking his stars. Ranvijay was an exceptionally good tipper. He, needed the money as he did thisjob to pay for his college. A degree in hotel management, this job gave him the money and the experience too.

2:00 a.m. - The party was over, Ranvijay was very generous tonite. Time to get back to the hostel. It was raining very heavily. "Damn, the monsoon", thought Rajiv.Usually, he would have taken an auto to his hostel, but today he could afford a bit of luxury. He spotted a cab parked at the end of the road and got in. Rajiv gave the cabbie his destination, and off they went Rajiv, content with the day's work and pay. The cabbie was a typical one from U.P. His name was Ranjit singh. Ranjit in his mid 40s was happy to get a passenger at this time of the night in this weather. He was about to head back to hi chawl, when this kid climbed in with a grin on his face. Must have been lucky today, one way or the other. Rajiv paid the cabbie, 75/- more than he would have paid the auto wallah, but what the hell. The cabbie was happy to take a passenger at this time of the night, since the kid's hostel was on the way to Ranjit's chawl.

6:00 a.m. Ranjit woke up and saw his son Deepak, sleeping peacefully. Deepak was a good student. He had been asking his father for 50/- to buy a few books. Yesterday night had been a good one for Ranjit. The passengers had been generous to him. He slipped the 50/- note under Deepaks pillow.

8:00 a.m. Deepak opened his eyes. He would have been late for college, had he not been expelled. He, had not been attending the classes for quite some time now. Since he had met Rekha. He was in love. Rekha, was in trouble however. She worked as a secretary, to Mr Sanghvi. That bastard had been taking advantage of Rekha being desperate for a job. She had tol Deepak about it and he was going to do something about it.

1:00 p.m The ragpicker was where he always was. Near a dumpster, looking for something. He needed something to cover his hut now that it was raining everyday. Deepak saw him and talked to him about a deal.

9:00 p.m. Mr Sanghvi came out of his office, his car somehow refused to start. He sent the driver to get some help. The office building was unusually vacant today. A begger was knocking on the window of Sanghvi's Merc. He rolled down the window to scream at the good for nothing bastartd. Soon, he felt something sharp lodged in his neck and he could not breath. Sanghvi died in his black Merc trying to get some air in his lungs. It was worth the 50/- that the college loafer had given him. "I'll be able to cover my home, this monsoon" thought the ragpicker.

9:45 p.m: The phone rang as he was about to leave. It was the police. Somebody had killed his father. "No party tonight"thought Ranvijay

10:00 p.m: Ranvijay did not turn up today, Rajiv will have to take an auto back to the hostel today

Monday, June 19, 2006


Somwhere in the course of the weekend also watched Magnolia a 3Hr long wierd muvi...NICE!!
The problem is I dunno where it fits in the course of events. Ah well, photographic memory without a corresponding timeline does have it's drawbacks ;)

what to do...we r like this only (only in mallu accent)

Man was the weekend hectic or WHAT!!


Got up at 11:00 - pretty early actually :)......lazed around, checked mail, wasted time on Orkut......Read Maximum city (really, REALLY interesting book!) 1:30 Had lunch.
At about 2 Decided to get to work, LOST Season 2 Episodes 21 - 24. Was 6:30 by then WORLD CUP!!! basically watched ESPN till 11:30 non stop(got a haircut sometime in between). Next match starts at 12:30 a.m. .....enuf time for an english muvi.....watched Running Scared (*ing Paul Walker, The fast and the furious wala)....Shitty action muvi....watched it anyway.....1:00 a.m. let get back to football....end of the first half approaching....2 red cards shown already, 2 goals in too....CRAP!!! missed it!.....started reading Max city again.....1:30 am watched the match again.....2:30 Stalemate Italy 1 - U.S.A 1(Although U.S.A played most of the 2nd half with 9 men).....the group is still alive, will have to watch the next round of matches too....oh well! :) Read the book till 3:00 a.m. don't remember much after that.....


Opened my eyes around 11:00 a.m......after much contemplation, got outta bed......walked around like a zombie(natural me i.e.) till about 12:30......polluted some water....Had lunch (Dad had gone out so alone...)......1:30 - had a primitive Humphrey bogart muvi on my PC.....The Maltese Falcon.....watched that......predictable, but decent......nice dialogues.....3:00 got back to Max city......4:30 Donnie Darko was waiting for his turn by then......Much like the butterfly effect(the physics funda is different and much darko-er....nice soundtrack too)......6:00 by that time had The Big Lebowski on my P.C....started watching that.....din't wanna nemore so back to the tube....WC was gonna start.....watched that till 'bout 11:30p.m...tried waitin for the France Vs S.Korea to up at 4:00 realised the match was done Double CRAP!! aaaaahh, wot d hell...Monday again!! So much to do, so little time

P.S - all this was punctuated with bouts of hogging, SMSing, Orkuting, talking on da phone and Gmail chats......MAN!! talk about multi tasking!!!!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Living for the MOMENT

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

3:05 into the song, when the opera starts....

The Grid - Swamp Thing

2:44 into the song when the banjo kicks in!!

Coldplay - parachutes

45 seconds of bliss.......

In a haze and a stormy haze,
I'll be round, I'll be loving you always and always,
Here I am and I'll take my time,
Here I am and I'll wait in line always and always.

Coincidently all of these are british bands....

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Haven't had a decent night's sleep for the last 5 cup and the test match. Had planned to complete my quota of sleep today(no good matches in Germany today). I guess will be able to do that if it rains in St.Lucia today. Well the test match will be a good watch today, with India requireing 9 wickets for a victory after rain screwed up India's position yesterday. The rotten luck continues.....

Surprizes.....every one thought that Brazil winning this WC was a foregone conclusion. After the performances by the Czech republic, Argentina and the african minnows...Ecuador, Trinidad and Tobego (allthough Ghana and Togo lost their matches they did play pretty well ) The Brazil Vs ------ final will be a good contest :). (m not a Brazil supporter, a fan none the less....actually support France....)

Disappointments - performances by France and England......somehow the European guys are unable to play decent football in the afternoon (the 6:30 and 9:30 pm games (IST))

Bloopers....The Russian ref in France Vs Swiss. I think that guy was drunk!!! The one that takes the cake is the goalkeeper of the team from Ghana(I think his name is Kinston ). Pretty decent when defending direct shots at goal. Get a corner or a set-piece and watch the fun. That dude could not TOUCH the ball!!O man that was Hillarious.....

After a good night's work, when you are too tired to move your head, and your body starts to melt into the pillow......hmmmm......Another night with no sleep (5 Hrs DO NOT count when the minimum I need are 8!!) problemo......The voices in my head are getting louder, gotta get out the war paint and start warming up for the 6:30 game......see ya......soooooon

Friday, June 09, 2006

The Pilgrimage starts today!

The football world cup starts today!!(NO, it is not soccer or futball or futbal....for it to be football 1. The BALL has to be round 2. You are supposed to play with your FEET!!!!)

For details of the schedule and contry specific TV times and a LOT more you can download the .xls workbook from HERE.

Obviously, Brazil is gonna win it again, but watchin the underdogs is going to be FUN!

Thursday, June 08, 2006


I needed some info, if you know anything about it please lemme know :)

1) Movie - Ed TV
Scene - Matthew McConaughey goes to Jenna Elfman's flat, some shit happens and he is dancing with Elfman's roommate......The help I need is this: In the background the song playing is a remixed version of "Do wah diddy". PLEASE tell me who is the artist (of that version).

Trivia: The original was done by The Exciters however the cover by Manfred Mann was the more popular hit.

2) Cate Blanchet's movie(as in she was the lead...) about a reporter who took on the Irish Mob. The movie has the song Everlasting love by U2 on the OST. What, I SAY, is the name of the movie?????
More Info - The scene when the song plays is when her husband has a fight with her regarding the time she is spending on the story rather than the family and the song starts playing in the background and slowly fades in.......

story time.....

Well if you listen to music quite often, I am sure you do not stick to one kind of music. Some times philosophical or profound or even beautiful lyrics (coldplay fits the bill) tend to get you down. THAT is the time you reach out for this kind of music...what kind you ask? Hold your horses, I'll get to that in a moment. The belafonte song I wrote this post about fits the bill.

The following song is in the same vain, the beat is quite nice so makes for a good listen. I am quite sure it was actually written in a diner and then twisted.... :)

Suzane vega - Tom's Diner

I am sitting
In the morning
At the diner
ON the corner

I am waiting
At the counter
For the man
To pour the coffee

And he fills it
Only halfway
And before
I even argue

He is looking
Out the window
At somebody
Coming in

It Is always
Nice to see you.
Says the man
Behind the counter

To the woman
Who has come in
She is shaking
Her umbrella

And I look
The other way
As they are kissing

Their hellos

I'm pretending
Not to see them
I pour the milk

I open
Up the paper
There's a story
Of an actor

Who had died
While he was drinking
It was no one
I had heard of

And I'm turning
To the horoscope
And looking
For the funnies

When I'm feeling
Someone watching me
And so
I raise my head

There's a woman
ON the outside
Looking inside
Does she see me?

No she does not
Really see me
Cause she sees
Her own reflection

And I'm trying
Not to notice
That she's hitching
Up her skirt

And while she's
Straightening her stockings
Her hair
Is getting wet

Oh and this rain
It will continue
Through the morning
As I'm listening

To the bells
Of the cathedral
I am thinking
Of your voice...

And of the midnight picnic
Once upon a time
Before the rain began...

I finish up my coffee
It's time to catch the train

Yeah, I know crapy stuff, still kinda fun.....
However my favourite from this kinda stuff will always be this one from soul assylum...

Soul Asylum - String Of Pearls

She swings the string of pearls ON the corner
The street lights reflect the light in the water
The string it snaps and the pearls go sailing
And they splash and bounce and roll cross the wet street

As she bends to chase the pearls a car swings round the corner
She darts from the eyes of the panic-struck driver
Who's racing to the delivery ROOM
Cause In the back seat his wife is busting out of her womb

And the sack breaks and out come the siamese twins
Who grow up to become the first president
With two heads
Are better than one

He puts his heads in his hands and says I got to put my heads together
I can become the best president ever
And not just president
Fend for yourself

Signs his name and takes the blame for all of the names with no shame
In their beliefs
They adjourn and they leave and in walks a man
With a broom and a knife and blood ON his hands

And he sweeps everything under the rug
And goes home to his kids and gives them a hug
But his wife was not there and she had just left a letter
That said you.d be much better OFF without me

Now his wife took the train to her ex-lover.s funeral
Who died in the bathroom and hit his head ON a urinal
When they got together and the knowledge was carnal
And the widow was at the funeral and they had quite a catfight

And they fell into the hole where the casket was resting
And the preacher just left in the middle of the service
Cause Death was one thing and but women made him nervous
And he ran to his car and he drove round the corner

Then something in the street caught the light in his eye
He pulled over, reached down and picked up a pearl from the gutter
And he didn't know what to think
And he brought it home and washed it in the sink

And he gave the pearl to sister Mary teresa
Who could not accept it so she gave it to lisa,
A Young prostitute who was missing a pearl
ON the necklace that broke late last night

All lyrics courtesy lyricstime