Tuesday, December 11, 2007

of trying to heal the souls

Last few books I have finished, interestingly, all had something or the other to do with Afghanistan. From what I have seen of the country(post taliban) all I can associate with it is ruins and Bollywood. Bollywood is out of scope of this post ;). About ruins...One thing that keeps flashing before my eyes when I think of ruins is.....Hospitals...I know...weird....hear me out...

The things that strike me as common between the two...
Dried tears and fresh wounds...
hope against reality, things will get better...
loneliness...
fear...
anger...
a ray of new life (kids...)...
cynicism (with the new life)....
helplessness...
Heroes(not the doctors, the survivors)...
spirit of a fight...
not letting go...
Dependence on money...
The futility of life and permanence of Death...

Monday, December 03, 2007

The great indian tamasha revisited

Had gone to attend another wedding last weekend in Delhi. Well I am 27, single (happily) and HATE crowds. As is customary and polite I ended up meeting with all my "relatives". well before I get to what went on there, the Delhi mornings are something I just need to get out of my system.

The flight being delayed by the mandatory hour, reaching Delhi at 2 a.m. you want to sleep the whole day. Around 6:30 a.m. you hear a crow around you window...aah I love the nature...you fall asleep again....6:35 RAJUUUUUUUU...ja ke doodh le ke aaa (Raju go and get some milk)...nope I'm not raju...he is the neighbor's son....I haven't been able to figure out his name in 20 years...maybe coz I never asked....you can hear yourself snoring. Then AAAAAAAAKHHHHHHHTHUUUUUU...snort SNOOOOOOOOOOOOORTTTTT....BETA GEEZER on kar de.....AAAAAAAAAAAAKKHH THUU....that was the OTHER neighbour brushing his dentures to get ready for the Indo-Pak cricket match. And then the Crow found out that jumping on the metal bolt of the door makes this hediously irritating sound like that of fingernails on a chalk board...and you are wide awake....

So after a refreshing 5 hour sleep you are ready for the show tonight!!

I have never been the best at anything in my family in terms of the money I earn...the way I look ...my marks in school and college and I like it that way. Anyhooo, to everyone's surprise (except from somebody in IT who knows how common it is) and my biggest mistake to date, I was in the US for about 4 months. So, with me trying to mingle with my relatives the question that is the answer to the world's problem of global warming comes up.

Aunty, uncle, raju, bubbly: BETAAAAA TU KAB LAGA RAHA HAI RAUNAK AB???(when are you getting screwed err sorry married)

Me: Ji aunty aapko bina bataye kaise...

Them: Arre tune koi dhundi nai abhi tak?? aaj kal to khud ki choice chalti hai!!

Me: Trying to smile.

Them: Tujhe to kafi time ho gaya na is company main??? kitna mil jata hai??

Me: err, ummm.....he he

Them: Meri beti, beta, nawasi, sachin tendulkar, rajnikant ka to 8 ka package hai.

Me: ( Wishing I had my i pod) kaafi acha hai "package"

Them: Haan, US main kitne milte the?? office kaise jata tha?? wahan to kafi mehnga hoga na?? US se kya le ke aaya???

Me: Still smiling, eyes squinting as chintu , the offspring of a distant cousin is figuring out that the sauce with his snacks tastes better on my trousers.

And then you repeat this with your cousins whose actual name is not known to you....only their nick name by the way of their locations....prasad nagar wale bhaiya, saket wali aunty....sadar wali chachi...and then you wish for the crow to come back and play on the door handle.....

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Zoke Time

So this surd from Bhatinda moves to Canada. Gets married to a Canadian. After about a year his wife is pregnant. She says "Sadarji, meri Dadi ma ka naam Denise tha. Agar kudi hui to uda naam vi Denise rakhange" (Dude, my grandma's name was Denise...if we have a baby girl...we'll call her Denise (Yup the Canadian learnt punjabi)).

Well, as with all the surd zokes the surd is surprised with the end result. His wife delivers twins.
A boy and A girl. Sadarji's wife says "Sadarji, kudi da naam to maine rakha, munde da tussi rakh do" (Dude, I selected a name for the girl, why don't you name the boy)

So after about 12 minutes of deep (blue) thot. The surd was struck by a lightning bolt of inspiration.(yup he was a software engineer too)

Girl => Denise Thus by simple deduction Boy => De Nephew!!

and they lived happily ever after!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Finding yourself...again

You are at the eye of the storm
You chose to be here, ignoring the destruction in the wake of your storm.
You enjoy the dark peace.
You deserve the peace and the rest of them had it coming

And then the light shines through,
pulling you towards it.
You follow the light,
Ignoring the pleas of the storm that defined you.

After a few short lived moments, moments of pure ecstasy you think THIS is you.
You decide to leave the storm behind.
Then the truth hits you, and the light fades away forever.
You promise yourself that you will stay out of the storm, you have found yourself.

You stick to the planes of redundant and repetitive shit that is your life.
You will keep your promise to the light.
And then you slip back, back down the muddy slope to the eye of the storm.
Ah there is no place like home...the place where you do not have to struggle to be YOU.

So what if everything you touch will be destroyed?
So what if you failed to keep your promise?
This is who you are.
This is who you were meant to be.


Inspired NOT copied from the movie Unforgiven

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Killer App???

Thinking of buying the iphone?? Wait a while...you might miss the gPhone!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Eye in the sky

I always knew there was some one watching over me.
I knew he was always there.

The kind of presence you feel from the corner of your eye.
The presence you are never able to spot when looking directly at it.

He was waiting for me to acknowledge him.
All he wanted to see was recognition in my eyes

That night ,I felt the cold metal of his bullet
That night I felt the warmth of my blood

He WAS watching over me.
And so was his gun.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Back with a bang!

Has been a long time since I failed.
Long time since I got a letter that starts with a polite regret.

Thanks for bringing me back to where I belong.
Thanks for giving me a challenge.

You'll be proved wrong...in due course of time...you will...trust me!

All the crap about giving 100% and taking what happens is not true...I just wasn't good enough...but I WILL BE...soon!

FREE HUGS!

There are some things that will make you smile every time you see them. This is one of those things. Watch the video...be patient...u'll have a smile at the end!



The site that documents the whole idea HERE

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Connect the dots



Whats the connection between the two?? Lemme know if you need a clue :)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Dumb and Dumber

WTF?

See this story. The dumb fuck was trying to use a $1 million bill. EVEN if everything was legitimate WHICH supermarket has a TOTAL cash of $1 million in its cash registers :D.

WAIT WAIT here is the kicker this is not the first time this has happened albeit it was a different person!! Check THIS out.

MAN!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Colors

We waste our lives fighting over colors

color of our skin...
black, white and brown.
Leaving the the innocence and beauty of creation to drown.

Color of our god...
green, saffron and white
Looking for a reason why his god is wrong and yours is right.

Color of money...
well that one is the same for all but still leads to so many things getting screwed.

BRIGHTER...VISIBLE...IN YOUR FACE => Success and happiness!

Sometimes I think if all of us were colorblind we wouldn't be so compulsive in compartmentalizing and categorizing every single thing, but then it figures, we'll just find another way of branding things. Nah, there is no hope at all!!

P.S. If you look at a black and white picture, the emotion is always more prominent than everything else...food for thot!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Make a difference

Deeplaya is a non - government development organization working on issues affecting the urban and rural poor, with a special focus on children.Deepalaya started on July 16, 1979, with five children, two teachers and an investment of Rupees 17,500/- by the seven founding members. By 2005, Deepalaya became the largest operating NGO in the national capital state of Delhi, reaching out to 50,000 children, 76 slums, 84 villages in Mewat and seven villages in Uttarakhand.For the past 28 years Deepalaya has been working in the urban slums of Delhi and has also made inroads into rural development in the states of Haryana and Uttarakhand.

All your contributions will have the facility of 80G (50% tax rebate) and 35 AC (100% tax rebate - donation to the project on health for children and all). Issue the cheque in favour Deepalaya. Deepalaya will keep you informed about the utilization of your contribution.

To know more about "Deepalaya" visit their website http://www.deepalaya.org and please contact Sudha Parthasarathy,Deputy Director-Marketing, Deepalaya at 011-28525908 directly for any further clarifications/queries.Also requesting all of you to inform your friends who would be interested to support this noble cause and Deepalaya!

You can contribute towards deepalaya at the Vodafone Delhi Half Marathon to be held on 28th Oct.

P.S. - You can donate using a credit card on their website

Monday, October 01, 2007

...

You look so fragile I could break
But I try to hold myself
Together for the both of us
But in truth I'm just as scared

Snow Patrol - In My Arms

Friday, September 28, 2007

The void of loss

You feel free.
Almost afloat in the air.
Nothing to tie you down.
Nothing to hold you back.

Ah the freedom of flight.
The absence of responsibilities.
No boundaries of futile attempts at humor.
Ah the spontaneity of a leap.

The gust of wind in your hair.
The darkness of the abyss rushing towards you.
The only source of light getting away.
And the solitary tear reappears.

Then you realize, you are not free...you are orphaned.
You are not floating it is your worst fall.
Your arms are flailing to grasp at anything around.
You wish somebody/someone had held you back and completed the puzzle.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Customize your newz


Saw this on the NDTV site....so which one is it? :D

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Requiem

You wished for it to happen.
You wished it to be perfect when it did.

It happens when you least expected it.
It takes your breath away every time you look back at it.

Then reality shatters all that was true and yours.
Then reality shreds the only perfection you had known.

What reality can't take away are the memories.
Memories of perfection and completion.

Every time you look back it brings back a smile and a tear.
Every time you look back you say "Goodbye and thanks for all the fish!!"

:_-)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Sunday, September 16, 2007

LIFEcycle!

You open your eyes...cry a little...do what you are told...get a "COMPLETE EDUCATION"...get a "SATISFYING JOB"...FUCK FUCK FUCK...MULTIPLY...pick some body or get picked to ruin a couple of lives...buy shit you don't need...then buy the same shit only bigger...aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...BANG BANG!

You spend the first half of your life fitting in...so that you are just like everybody else...NORMAL...the rest of your life is spent trying to be DIFFERENT...UNIQUE...well SOMEBODY has a FUCKING sadistic sense of humor...

This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end of our elaborate plans
The end of ev'rything that stands
The end - Jim Morrison

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Small Talk II

If you know me then you know I can't have the "Howz the weather" kinda conversation. That usually leaves me with my iPod when around new people. So I tried to change during this trip to Amreeka!!

It is a bit weird that we desperately seek change in the routines that are our lives, when we get the change we longed for we seek familiarity... So, the most critical task on the "to do" list. Get Indian food (can't cook so ready to eat :)) Being a guy I was finished with the shopping in 10 minutes and had about 20 minutes to kill before the cab got back to pick me up.

The owner of the store behind the counter (Also known as Bhaiya or Uncle) seemed harmless enough. So I took the plunge...

Lets skip the conversation and lemme tell you
1. He is from Rajisthan
2. Been in US for 15 years in Tucson for 12 years, 3 years in denver
3. Used to own a 3 Video Shops in Denver before Blockbuster and Netflix started and he moved to Tucson.
4. 1 daughter who is married and lives in Florida (who's inlaws are visiting btw)
5. Her husband is a doc (SURPRISE)
6. 1 son...yup he is a doc too
7. They are traveling to India to find him a Bride.(Sundar, Susheel, Saral ;)). Don't worry his daughter will take care of the shop in his absence.
8. The retail business is good. A big market for Indian stuff. Although they can't return perishable stuff to the supplier.
9. Some things are made for Import while others are the same for Indians and NRIs.
10. A freezer had broken down thus the fewer ready to eat Naans and Kulchas.

I was so proud of myself. Mission accomplished!! MAN I HAVE CHANGED!!!

Next week, out for grocery shopping. I went back to my new "friend". I asked him how's the plan for the trip coming along?? He said o.k. but looked at me weirdly. And it dawned on me..."UNCLE", did not know who the hell I was!!

I have started wearing my "CRAP, U R GONNA TALK TO ME AREN'T U???" shirt again. I think I need new earphones for my ipod.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Idle Worship

The problem with us is that we do not want our heroes to be flawled.

Humans can not be flawless.

A divine presence achieving something a flawed human could have done doesn't make it a hero, they are divine after all.

We are just left wanting something that will never happen.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Connect the dots...



Lets see if you can get this one....what's the connection between the two???

Lemme know if you need a clue :)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Holy Tastebuds Batman

Flavored water for Indian market.....I may be too old to remember but wasn't there something called FRUIT JUICE???

P.S.: Just curious....could you please answer the poll Q on the right....
Update: Poll removed :)

Substance Dependence

15th August, 60th anniversary of our independence. This question comes up every year...what does 15th August mean to you??

Well the answer is sad and kinda surprising to me since I never thought about it....it just means another day off. I don't want to listen to what Manmohan Singh has to say about what India is doing BECAUSE of "his" government. And I don't care what BJP says to counter it. I don't vote. I am from the middle class and I AM cynical. Talk about categorization and cliches .

It is not that I am not proud of India or being an Indian. We are what we are DESPITE of the politicians not because of them. 15th Aug just doesn't mean anything to me. I am materialistic and 15th Aug just doesn't mean any thing tangible to me just like my birthday doesn't mean anything to me.

So for all the TV channels that are conducting polls on our "patriotic quotient" my PQ doesn't depend on what day it is!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Taking Lives

He hits her across her face.

A tear rolls down her eye.She wants to run away but doesn't

He has all the hate in his eyes, the blood on her lip reflecting in them

She doesn't know him anymore, he is not the same guy.

He throws her on the bed, twists her arm till he can see her wince...

Her tears feel salty, and his grip on her arms...cold

He throws her against the wall, and pours the sugarless, boiling coffee over her. That'll teach her how to make coffee.

She hopes she can remember he takes 3 cubes of sugar not two...like he did before.

He wonders if he can get rid of her.

She wonders if she can ever leave...

She found his gun took it with her when she gave him another cup of coffee. Points it straight at his temple. The same cold eyes...she puts the gun in her mouth and leaves him.....forever.

Disclaimer: Nobody can condone domestic violence, neither do I....part of the above is fiction part is not....

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Nice guys don't always get screwed :)

Couldn't watch the match live....so here it is for all u ppl who missed it...Kumble's maiden test century!!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

How music videos should have been!

Small talk - I

This long post was LONG overdue. I was waiting to get my SSN before I posted this.

I am not sure why but people from our company who are traveling to US are supposed to get a SSN, something to do with the tax that needs to be paid to the US gov. Anyway, it gives you a chance to get away from work without applying for leave so why not :D. Took the cab to the social security office and was prepared to wait ( it can take anywhere from 2-4 hrs). As is customary with the paranoia of west right now, by bag went through the mandatory cursory "security" check. Took a token for the appointment - A74 ( wasn't sure which option to select so took the one that was close enough to what was required.) The only place to sit that was near and wasn't cramped caught my eye and woosh like the nike swoosh I was there.

With the mandatory book in my lap and the i-pod in my ears I prepared for the long haul. For some reason the people around me kept grinning to each other. Well as you know curiosity killed the katty, I removed the earphones from my ear to see what was going on..BIG MISTAKE. The guy next to me A62 was the friendly kind...SHIT! ( I need to get me a T with the message "CRAP u r gonna talk to me aren't u??") So any way he informed me that the lady Security officer/guard was the जहन्नुम की सुरक्षा कर्मी (Guard from hell, just wanted to try the hindi thing :)) People weren't supposed to talk as it might lead to some people to miss their turn (even though the token numbers were being called over a MIC loud enuf ). Well thats her job i thought and was about to plug my self in that the friendly A62 began to tell me about HIS story, a forthcoming somewood trilogy I am sure.

Dear Mr, A62 didn't get his Social security for a long time since he switched his accounts, Even though he had opened a bank account. Well the account was the wrong kind he was told on his last visit. So after migrating to the right kind he still wasn't seeing any cash and that is wg=hy he was there. Well OKAAAY, I kept nodding my head at him or in anticipation of the EMINEM playing on the pod I'll never know. The call was for A61, I thought the end was near and the next call was for A92. They call the tokens based on the category not the serial. I always knew God was a sarcastic sadist. MAN! after about 30 mins of the above trilogy it was his number (उसका नुम्बेर आ गया I LOVE this hindi thing :)) And 5 minutes after that mine too. I was told I'll get my SSN in 4 weeks instead of the usual 2 weeks as my data had not yet been sent by the immigration office. I couldn't care less. Well the work was done in about 2 hours and I had called the cab back in 3.5 hours.

I figured I'll make a call from the security guards phone (local calls are free). BIG BIG MISTAKE. She said I couldn't use the phone. hmm...well is there any pay phone near by??
I don't know she said. Okaaaaaaaay, so what am I supposed to do? She looked at me as if she was ready to bring out the mace, so I backed off. Waited for 1 hour with A62 (he had to wait some more) and 30 minutes in the sun outside (tanning myself). I guess it would have been better to just shut up and work....but what to do WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY (हम ऐसे ही हैं ).

Saturday, August 04, 2007

DU-OH

The most hilarious thing since Makkad Man

spider pig spider pig
spider pig does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing from a web
no he cant he's a pig
LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE SPIDER PIG!!

The Video

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Lost in translation

I'm currently in US (Tucson,Arizona). For some reason (Financial actually) I only get free channels in my hotel room. If you have ever been stuck with Doordarshan during a cricket match you know you can't switch channels and thus end up watching the Ads too (which are some times more entertaining)

Another thing (can be called as culture shock) is the way medication is peddled (sorry advertised) here on T.V. they even have medication for the Restless Leg Syndrome.

Another thing is the disclaimer at the end of the Ads....I don't want to specify any names so here are the list of "side effects" of one of the drugs....to be fair they actually mention most of these in the ad!!

Disclaimer: This post has no medical value (or any other value for that matter) and may cause effects on either your left or the right side, there usually are no effects on the Inside but may lead to varied facial changes on the outside....)

Thursday, July 26, 2007

HELL YEAH!

My Code is airborne!!! MAN this feels brilliant :)
(P.S: if u didn't get it.....I works in aerospace, and that thing FLEW!!)

Trivia: Did you know that irrespective of the aircraft altitude (in flight) the shadow cast by it is of the same size!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

LOL!

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/Injokester/391177

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Connect the dots

Whats the connection between this pic and the movie PI?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

It's all about the money....

For the first time in my life I wish I made more money...Bob Dylan playing 20 miles from where I stay and I can't afford the good seats :(

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Of death by life...

You slide into the water, the hair on your body stick to you like a baby sticks to his mother.

The water tries it's best to push you out. You are violating it's space. You push against the walls to stick to stay "grounded".

You block the source and the water is calmer now. You slide in further, out of choice. It is up to your neck now.

The water covers your ears, impairs your hearing of the outside world. You can no longer hear the radio, the TV, the room service, the phone.

You can hear yourself as clearly as you ever could. Your heartbeat, Your hands sticking to the walls, the sound of you gulping.

The water hasn't reached your mouth yet. Somehow you can taste it at the base of your tongue.

You are completely immersed now, all you can feel is you. All you can see is the stagnation.

It is surprising that water can burn your lungs so bad, when it is supposed to put out the fire.

You don't scream, just lay there, lay there and wait.

The only thing outside of you that you are still aware of is this ray of light, from somewhere above you... but there was no light here .....

And you stare into the light, and sleep with your eyes open...

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

AYI YAI Phone

Amidst this huge IPhone orgy here in the US of A....EVEN in Tucson, here is what is not so cool about the Iphone

One good thing the IPhone did was to take Mz Hilton out of the news.....well for a few seconds at least.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

If life gives you Lemons....

From Kierkegaard's Repetition

How did I get into the world? Why was I not asked about it, why was I not informed of the rules and regulations but just thrust into the ranks as if I had been bought by a peddling shanghaier of human beings? How did I get involved in this big enterprise called actuality? Why should I be involved? Isn't it a matter of choice? And if I am compelled to be involved, where is the manager—I have something to say about this. Is there no manager? To whom shall I make my complaint?


...MAKE FUKIN LEMONADE!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Well Almost II

You smile for the first time, everybody smiles with you...
You are ready for the world...

You are ready to fly away...
You are ready to die...well almost...

Does it matter what happens in between the lines??

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Well almost I - Taking Lives...

He is a "soldier" for his country. Chasing a "terrorist". The Fog is thick. The visibility poor. He notices a glint of metal to his left from the corner of his eye. Unlatches the safety on his automatic and 1 shot takes care of the "insurgent". That is That. Did what he was supposed to...

He is a "freedom fighter". Being chased by an "infidel". The Fog is thick. The visibility poor. He
can hear the rustling of dried leaved and twigs to his right. That bastard can't be this close. He turns around and shoots towards the source. The noise stops. He is safe now. That is That. Did what he was supposed to...

She is 6 years old. Babysitting her 4 year old brother. For some reason he loves playing with spoons. She holds out the spoon in the sun, just to make sure it is clean. She feels the warmth of her blood on her ear. For some reason it is dripping from her head on to her face....

He is just 4. Waiting for his sister to get him his toys. Well what he thinks are toys anyway. Till she returns the kid continues to wrestle, the dried leaves. He doesn't feel the stab of pain. He doesn't have time. He just lies there for eternity...

That is that. Every body did what they were supposed to...WELL ALMOST!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

...of love, and things meant to be

It is 3:30 in the morning and she is sitting there staring at me and won't let me go to sleep till I tell you her story...

They were people of the mountains. Had known each other since they were kids. They were neighbours. It was getting late and the storm was almost at their doorstep. He had to leave for his home. Her mother didn't want the two of them to be in the same house till they were married, she believed it will bring bad luck. They never said goodbye to each other. They had decided long ago. They'll never say it. Their eyes met for that brief moment and all that could be said was rendered worthless.

Although, the basic structure of their homes was made of bricks and stones a part of it was put together with temporary things such as sheets of tarpaulin. He had to fasten it to the ground before the storm hit. Tourists always wondered how can these locals live at such treacherous locations with the blind corner of the road on one side and the deep gorge on the other. He had been walking this edge for time immemorial. And never thought two ways about it. It was dark and he had to feel his way to the large stone the kept as a weight to fasten the tarp to the ground.

The raindrops were mixing with the earth. His foot slipped. all he could think about was the smile in her eyes when he last saw her. The words he longed to hear. The words he knew that were about to escape her lips. They had never actually told each other about it. They had known. How he wished he had told her. Just once.

They found his body a kilometer downstream. She didn't cry. She knew they were meant to be. She knew he couldn't leave her without at least telling her what everyone knew. You might see her the next time you go there. She is the pretty one. The one who seems to be waiting. Waiting for what was meant to be...

Monday, April 30, 2007

...Of memories and remembrance...

com·mem·o·rate (kə-mĕm'ə-rāt')
tr.v., -rat·ed, -rat·ing, -rates.
  1. To honor the memory of with a ceremony.
  2. To serve as a memorial to.
You only commemorate things that you wanna forget...

Fallen soldiers
Lost Years
Bomb blasts
Deaths
Failures
Milestones
Men and Ideas

When was the last time you saw somebody regularly celebrating his/her freedom?? It is just only when somebody makes a specific day for it that you get up late and realise O today is a day I need to remember.

B'days
Anniversaries
Progress

The moment you need to commemorate something you should realise all you are trying to do is forget about it.

Commemoration is just another word for death.


P.S. - As soon as a statue is created in somebodies memory, the soul and ideas are burnt to ashes..

Friday, April 20, 2007

Somwhere inbetween types

From Whose line is it anyway?
So, would you call a male transvestite who likes women a Lesbian??

Trivia Q: Which Indian Ad used the phrase "Somewhere in between types?"

Friday, April 13, 2007

Zoke time

1) What will Sting be called after retirement?
A) STUNG!

2) There is a gang that kills people and then rings a bell...what is their name??
A) MAR-KE-TING

Disclaimer - none of these are my IP ;) ... heard them somewhere thot u need to suffer too!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

(Junk) Food for thought

When a T.V. commercial shows the picture is clearer than anything your TV could ever produce...AND you can see the difference on your T.V. then why would I buy the "better" T.V.

If you can't see the difference then why have the AD???

Trivia: The song in Sony Bravia's Bouncing balls commercial is Heartbeats sung by José González.

Monday, March 05, 2007

M.I.A

Shot and Killed myself yesterday.

Won't be updating this blog for some time now(till I am resurrected)....the other 3 might(just might) still get updated...Have fun till then...

Friday, March 02, 2007

Brilliant!!

The best indian AD in a LOOOONG time...doesn't use kids or models...LOVE the music...wht am I talkin about??...check out THIS Nike ad and Some background on the making HERE.

P.S: Atlast something worthwhile from rediff.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Return of Hugzilla !!

Every family has a standard set of specimens a.k.a relatives who perform a preordained set of functions mandatory to their existence and your demise. This is not the only thing that they are born to do, but this is however, how you will remember them...
  1. The uncle who has a killer dress sense (fatal actually).
  2. The cousin whose music collection you envy.
  3. The aunty who tells dirty jokes to little kids and is pleased no end when they make that weird face as if they didn't understand (These kids have no problems in understanding Eminem's lyrics tho')
  4. The Fav aunty who gets you presents ....and finally
  5. HUGZILLA
The thing is my dad was in IAF while I was a kid. This reduced the frequency of my meeting them and did the following to my every visit.
  1. Exponentially increased the importance of the visit and the cash I got as a "gift" (bribes actually to eat their food...)
  2. The HUGZILLA attacks got much more violent.
Still cant figure out what I'm talking abut?? If you have seen the new Asian paints ad then you'll know...(The brown wall no no CHOCOLATE coloured wall thingy)... when the Granny finally realises the kids want a Toblorone instead of murabba....she MAULS the poor kid...

This is called a HUGZILLA (the technical term). You stand there waiting for it to end with your lifeless arms hanging by your side like a ragged doll, and your head held in place to save you from whiplash. The joy from your being there makes the Hugzilla shake the shimmy you see...

As you grow, in height that is, you are saved from the WET DISGUSTING kisses but the duration of the Shimmy shake increases along with a marked reduction in the cash you are about to get paid for the 10Th time you are eating lunch at your FAV aunt's place (according to the aunt)....I'd rather earn my money elsewhere......

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Guilty?

Committing Suicide is a crime...

If u were successful you are dead, can't be punished...

If you survive, you didn't commit the crime...

WTF!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

...

For those of you who "celebrate" 14tf Feb...

Bob Dylan...

I love you more than ever, more than time and more than love,
I love you more than money and more than the stars above,
Love you more than madness, more than waves upon the sea,
Love you more than life itself, you mean that much to me.

Ever since you walked right in, the circle's been complete,
I've said goodbye to haunted rooms and faces in the street,
To the courtyard of the jester which is hidden from the sun,
I love you more than ever and I haven't yet begun.

You breathed on me and made my life a richer one to live,
When I was deep in poverty you taught me how to give,
Dried the tears up from my dreams and pulled me from the hole,
Quenched my thirst and satisfied the burning in my soul.

You gave me babies one, two, three, what is more, you saved my life,
Eye for eye and tooth for tooth, your love cuts like a knife,
My thoughts of you don't ever rest, they'd kill me if I lie,
I'd sacrifice the world for you and watch my senses die.

The tune that is yours and mine to play upon this earth,
We'll play it out the best we know, whatever it is worth,
What's lost is lost, we can't regain what went down in the flood,
But happiness to me is you and I love you more than blood.

It's never been my duty to remake the world at large,
Nor is it my intention to sound a battle charge,
'Cause I love you more than all of that with a love that doesn't bend,
And if there is eternity I'd love you there again.

Oh, can't you see that you were born to stand by my side
And I was born to be with you, you were born to be my bride,
You're the other half of what I am, you're the missing piece
And I love you more than ever with that love that doesn't cease.

You turn the tide on me each day and teach my eyes to see,
Just bein' next to you is a natural thing for me
And I could never let you go, no matter what goes on,
'Cause I love you more than ever now that the past is gone.

Source

Friday, February 09, 2007

yup....women are right....as always

Got this forward today....the ones in bold are the ACTUAL facts...the forward is just women's wishfull thinking... I think

Guy Facts and fiction:

When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you
ERR...NO....the cable transmission has been interrupted...

When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
Actually listen carefully if his breathing is heavy he has just gone to sleep...if not then wait for 5, 4, 3....zzzz

When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
He realizes there is no other way out alive

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
He is lying....How many guys called FINE do you know

When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
In truth he is wondering..."Can I reach the part of my back that is itching or should I ask her..."

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,he has the world
Coz he knows he can make you start headbanging if he starts breathing REALLY fast

When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love
Or he lost the remote and wants to know what is on the other channels..

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
GOOD GUY?? There is NO such thing

When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till you are done
You have the remote to the T.V.

When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
He is hungry, the phone is too far...he wants YOU to order the pizza

There was a correponding list of what women think but hell, if I knew what women though, I would've had more cash than Gates, wouldn't I??

Thursday, February 08, 2007

:D

Got this from Sidin's blog.

Check out the mail id.....MAN!

The futility of it all...

The ONLY reason why you can enjoy life is coz it doesn't give you a DEADline for it's end...

but then again it can screw you whenever it wants...

Oh, the futility of it all!!

Monday, February 05, 2007

Wishes

You sit there, in the dark corner...
Crying, wondering what could've been...

Remembering...

The smile of recognition on her face...
The sadness in her eyes, asking you why me...

Her last breath, helped on by a machine...
The stillness of her body...

The touch of her hand on your cheeks, when she teased you about your girlfriend...
The weight of her hand on your head...

I can still feel your hand on my head ma...
Happy B'day!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Religious?? U r screwed...

Not confessing to your sins is a Sin...

If you sin you have to confess....

Isn't religion just try to lower it's attrition rate?

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Destiny's Slave

God is a Precog.

Your destiny is not what you make of it...

You end up doing what was required to get to the destiny HE decided for you...

Every change you make in the present is the past for GOD...

Hitler was a Precog too.

God had planned Hitler's Destiny too, just like ours...

CHAL DHANNO!

You run...run to catch up...
Be there on time...
Meet your commitments...
Cross the finish line...
be responsible...
keep your promises...
Be the good one...

You run...run to escape...
what you promised your self you'll never be...
what you wanted to be...
what you could have been...
The kind of "friend" you wanted to be...
feeling guilty of not feeling guilty...

Then you get off the treadmill and join the rat race...

Thursday, January 25, 2007

errr..EXCUSE ME!

When a page has "THIS PAGE IS INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK" written on it.....is it STILL blank?

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Beyond death

Jim morrison -> Dylan Thomas -> And death shall have no dominion

And death shall have no dominion

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.
And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.
Copied shamelessly from wiki

Friday, January 05, 2007

Shit Happens

Stuck in the same kind of traffic jam as mentioned in the previous post. The cop said ok your turn and we kick our gadiyan into gear.

Well I'm a good driver, have been for 8 years...well am fast not rash...ok ok a bit rash. However, the few accidents that I've had, have always been at a slow speed, some of them were my faults.

So, we roar from the start line and then my bike is lying on the road and I'm standing next to it. AAAAAAAA the cop is hitting this guy and shouting at him. The guy was on a fiero and was trying to save the 5 minutes he would have had to spend at the signal. He shrugs off the cop and looks at me while lifting his bike. I look at my bike. No visible damage. That guy moves to the side of the road. I try starting my bike, which obliged dutifully after a bit of coaxing though.

As, I'm leaving the scene of the crime I look back an the cop looks at me as if asking "OK your turn now." I just didn't react. Looked ahead and moved on. Well the bike was fine, so was I. I wasn't interested in beating up the guy (I don't want to take advantage of my build you see :)) neither I felt the need to extort money from that guy for any damage that didn't happen. Or maybe I have become too soft coz of the "chalta hai" attitude.

Shit happens. What to do we are like this only.

Dude, if you are reading this, I hope you are doing fine. And yeah start wearing a helmet. AND LEARN TO STOP!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Pothole Society

Today, after about 2 months I got stuck in a typical B'lore traffic jam. The kinds because of which I spend 45 minutes to get to my office...6 Kms away.

Anyhow, with all the variety of specimens that end up driving it is a pretty interesting mix.

The rules of India still apply though:

1) You always curse the person whose vehicle is of the same size as yours or smaller.

2) In case of an accident, the guy with a bigger gadi is at fault. Any damage to the bigger vehicle is well deserved.

3) The middle class which is the first to break the rules (drive on the footpath) is also the first to curse the infrastructure (yup me too).

4) Basic logic, driving sense and common courtesy are fairy tales

5) You curse the media (Fm radio) for being pathetic and still listen to them and try to save the world via SMS (please let us know if saddam should be hangged or tickled to death. Please send us a solution to the Kashmir/Mid east/ iraq/Constipation/stray dogs).

6) You curse the autowala who just spit in front of you and never think twice before watering any greenery next to the stick no bills or a no parking sign.

7) Reliance is still leveling the playing field. (The guy on a cycle just passed you while you are stuck in the traffic was telling his would, could, should or may be wife/gf how bad the traffic is)


All beacouse they don't build flyovers/metros/mono-rails I TELL YOU!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Death and Marriage

They are dressed in their best clothes. There in front of everyone.

Their faces are peaceful, impatient for a new start.

A long queue of people, waiting to see them, the last time as individuals.

They knew this was gonna happen. It was just a matter of time.

All the people who matter are there.

The only difference being in one case they have a choice of heaven or hell. In which case, I'll let you decide ;)

P.S. - Dint get it?
Case 1: They are at their marriage reception.
Case 2: They just died and are laying in their coffins.