Friday, November 24, 2006

Close encounters of the Nth kind

This one needs a bit of details about me. I HATE talking to people. Especially if I don't know you. Now living in one of the many apartment complexes in Bangalore, you invariably end up nodding your head at someone you don't know. I'm ok with that. But once they start asking me about where I work and what deo I use it is a problem

Another thing, most of my waking hours my i-pod is plugged into my ears.

Now 2 days ago, after parking my bike I was heading towards my house. At the gate of my building(well not technically mine, but you get the point) I spot this guy waiting for the Elevator. SHIT!! Why you ask? Well, confined in a small space with a stranger in your face, the question invariably arises....WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? TELL ME YOUR DEEPEST DARKEST SECRETS...

So, I walk as slow as humanly possible hoping for my sake that the guy is lucky enough to get the elevator ASAP. Well god has a sadistic sense of humor. I reach the elevator, the guy still there. The doors slide open. I try to ignore him, continue to stare at the notice board. hoping he'll go without a fight but NO. Excuse me he says...I look up at him, he is holding the elevator for me...well 10 floors in the elevator won't take too much time, most probably he'll get off before me (Probability (1 - 3/14)). BAD CALL

I punch 10, he punches 12...I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS ONE GOD!! Well so far so good, he hasn't spoken, now only if the elevator starts moving. Gravity acting on our feet, the rise to my cocoon begins.

I-POD? he asks....Hmmm may be he is a fellow I-PODOPHILE. I nod. (The morning, I don't know you and don't care nod).

And then the dreaded question (which NO body has ever had the sense to ask me, I wonder why..) How come you are so FAIR?

Errr...lets options
1) Am a follower of M.J.
2) Fair and Handsome - Fairness cream for Men
3) May be coz I bleach myself instead of taking a bath..
4) Used to be green, but all the chlorophyll had to be removed as I got sunburnt

Any way I chickend out....."Well I'm not from Bangalore"(I din't wanna tell him I was born and raised here, just not a kanadiga....a banglorean tho'...fine print)

This thankfully happened between floors 8-9. So the escape was near...

Anyway, I said c ya. Could hear him say something about "That explains it"
saved myself from telling him all about how my ancestors, being Apes(at one point of time), came to stay in Bangalore.

I unlock the door thinking this will be fun to put on the blog.....


Alien said...

:-) ... Maybe you should try talking too ... it ain't that painful after you numb your brain...!!

road_to_perdition said...

..another option tho...
"5) the elevator pushes all the colour to my feet...maybe u shud take a peek them..." ;)hehehe

hmm.... said...

wowo! couldnt have ever imagined a stranger ask this !
Fair and Handsome ???

Sandeep said...

may god bless you with thousand more such encounters

Shubhraa said...

Hahahhahaha! U should have told him, this is what hibernating animals look like.

Maybe the reason he asked was so that he could marry of his sister to a "gora chita alien shehar ka lakda".