P.S. - I am not sure who owns/created this pic... In case you do, please let me know.
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Sunday, August 09, 2009
The times they are a changing!
P.S. - I am not sure who owns/created this pic... In case you do, please let me know.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
What did you say your name was?
The creatively stunning and shamelessly copied post on wierd names is back...all these were spotted on the BBC website :)
Shouldn't he be a fast bowler instead?
Well Balls to you too!
Another boring lawsuit! ;)
Shouldn't he be a fast bowler instead?
Well Balls to you too!
Another boring lawsuit! ;)
Friday, November 21, 2008
Some more name calling
Now imagine what the conversation will be like..
Mr D: Go and lend more money!
Bank Wala: Don't be absurd..Darling.
Mr D: Don't talk to me like that you are not my wife....Go lend money
Bank Wala: Darling that is just not feasible. We need liquidity!
Mr D: Stop fucking around with my economy! You are screwing up the confidence, this has never happened before!
Bank Wala: Go to hell...err....Darling
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Demon Barber
Sitting there with your life your barber’s hands, you wince when he says “Oh Shit”. You can feel the warm fluid drip from the back of your ear. You will have to live with it for the rest of your life. Your favorite white shirt will forever be tainted with the purple hair color!
:P what did you think happened?
:P what did you think happened?
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Unmistakable Bonds
There she stands
Her pretty face leaning into the window
The eyes searching for recognition
The deep and empty eyes hoping for salvation
Her lips are dry and knees are weak
Her hair are unkempt, falling over her eyes
The palms of her hand are deathly white
The fingers looking to grip something ANYTHING
and then everybody can hear her scream " Who the FUCK put feviquick on the FUCKING WINDOW!!!"
Her pretty face leaning into the window
The eyes searching for recognition
The deep and empty eyes hoping for salvation
Her lips are dry and knees are weak
Her hair are unkempt, falling over her eyes
The palms of her hand are deathly white
The fingers looking to grip something ANYTHING
and then everybody can hear her scream " Who the FUCK put feviquick on the FUCKING WINDOW!!!"
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Simulating Motion Sickness
1. Put on your headphones
2. Sit in a position such that your head is not supported (no headrest or pillows)
3. Start the music (Electronica or techno like The Man Machine or any Benni Bennasi tune will do)
4. Close your eyes and keep swallowing periodically.
For best results perform on an empty stomach.
2. Sit in a position such that your head is not supported (no headrest or pillows)
3. Start the music (Electronica or techno like The Man Machine or any Benni Bennasi tune will do)
4. Close your eyes and keep swallowing periodically.
For best results perform on an empty stomach.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Dumb and Dumber
WTF?
See this story. The dumb fuck was trying to use a $1 million bill. EVEN if everything was legitimate WHICH supermarket has a TOTAL cash of $1 million in its cash registers :D.
WAIT WAIT here is the kicker this is not the first time this has happened albeit it was a different person!! Check THIS out.
MAN!
See this story. The dumb fuck was trying to use a $1 million bill. EVEN if everything was legitimate WHICH supermarket has a TOTAL cash of $1 million in its cash registers :D.
WAIT WAIT here is the kicker this is not the first time this has happened albeit it was a different person!! Check THIS out.
MAN!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
DU-OH
The most hilarious thing since Makkad Man
spider pig spider pig
spider pig does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing from a web
no he cant he's a pig
LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE SPIDER PIG!!
The Video
spider pig spider pig
spider pig does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing from a web
no he cant he's a pig
LOOK OUT! HERE COMES THE SPIDER PIG!!
The Video
Friday, April 20, 2007
Somwhere inbetween types
From Whose line is it anyway?
So, would you call a male transvestite who likes women a Lesbian??
Trivia Q: Which Indian Ad used the phrase "Somewhere in between types?"
So, would you call a male transvestite who likes women a Lesbian??
Trivia Q: Which Indian Ad used the phrase "Somewhere in between types?"
Friday, February 09, 2007
yup....women are right....as always
Got this forward today....the ones in bold are the ACTUAL facts...the forward is just women's wishfull thinking... I think
Guy Facts and fiction:
When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you
ERR...NO....the cable transmission has been interrupted...
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
Actually listen carefully if his breathing is heavy he has just gone to sleep...if not then wait for 5, 4, 3....zzzz
When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
He realizes there is no other way out alive
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
He is lying....How many guys called FINE do you know
When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
In truth he is wondering..."Can I reach the part of my back that is itching or should I ask her..."
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,he has the world
Coz he knows he can make you start headbanging if he starts breathing REALLY fast
When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love
Or he lost the remote and wants to know what is on the other channels..
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
GOOD GUY?? There is NO such thing
When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till you are done
You have the remote to the T.V.
When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
He is hungry, the phone is too far...he wants YOU to order the pizza
There was a correponding list of what women think but hell, if I knew what women though, I would've had more cash than Gates, wouldn't I??
Guy Facts and fiction:
When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you
ERR...NO....the cable transmission has been interrupted...
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
Actually listen carefully if his breathing is heavy he has just gone to sleep...if not then wait for 5, 4, 3....zzzz
When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
He realizes there is no other way out alive
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
He is lying....How many guys called FINE do you know
When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
In truth he is wondering..."Can I reach the part of my back that is itching or should I ask her..."
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,he has the world
Coz he knows he can make you start headbanging if he starts breathing REALLY fast
When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love
Or he lost the remote and wants to know what is on the other channels..
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
GOOD GUY?? There is NO such thing
When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till you are done
You have the remote to the T.V.
When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
He is hungry, the phone is too far...he wants YOU to order the pizza
There was a correponding list of what women think but hell, if I knew what women though, I would've had more cash than Gates, wouldn't I??
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Friday, December 29, 2006
ATLAST, I've won....
....or so I thot. I tend to keep my phone switched off so that I can be "unreachable" when I want to. Anyway, I made the mistake of keeping my phone switched on around Christmas time as I was at home and playing snakes (Hi Score: 28,76,095) .
I get this call from a mobile. I usually do not pick up when somebody calls from a land line to avoid explaining to them why I do not need a loan. So I pick up the call and this happens
Me: Yullo
Her: Saar, your number has been picked for the Diwali bonanza saar! (some kid crying in the background)
Me: Uh huh (I WON!! but I never entered any form I WON!! Diwali bonanza in December? may be they are running late OH SHUT UP I WON!!!)
Her: You can come and pick up your gift
Me: When?
Her: Saar, are you married?
Me: err...no (man this was fast....I must sound REALLY sexy (only) on the phone)
Her: Well do you stay with your parents?
Me: (slightly annoyed) No but I can get there on my own
Her: No No...Saar, actually we give the gifts only to couples
Me: HUH?
Her: Do you know ANY couples? Sisters, Brothers...
Me: (WHAT THE...) No.....
Her: Ok SAAR, please hold...
Me: OK then I'm not interested....( On hold...listening to some shitty Kenny G tune that plays in all the elevators and Indian Airlines flights )
Her: (after keeping me on hold for 2 min)
Me: Listen, I'm not interested!! CLICK! (I would've slammed the receiver but these mobiles have been designed for a telemarketer free world you see)
I collapse in my bed after this intense workout, thinking I think I need a loan to buy something I neither need nor want. THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED!!
I get this call from a mobile. I usually do not pick up when somebody calls from a land line to avoid explaining to them why I do not need a loan. So I pick up the call and this happens
Me: Yullo
Her: Saar, your number has been picked for the Diwali bonanza saar! (some kid crying in the background)
Me: Uh huh (I WON!! but I never entered any form I WON!! Diwali bonanza in December? may be they are running late OH SHUT UP I WON!!!)
Her: You can come and pick up your gift
Me: When?
Her: Saar, are you married?
Me: err...no (man this was fast....I must sound REALLY sexy (only) on the phone)
Her: Well do you stay with your parents?
Me: (slightly annoyed) No but I can get there on my own
Her: No No...Saar, actually we give the gifts only to couples
Me: HUH?
Her: Do you know ANY couples? Sisters, Brothers...
Me: (WHAT THE...) No.....
Her: Ok SAAR, please hold...
Me: OK then I'm not interested....( On hold...listening to some shitty Kenny G tune that plays in all the elevators and Indian Airlines flights )
Her: (after keeping me on hold for 2 min)
Me: Listen, I'm not interested!! CLICK! (I would've slammed the receiver but these mobiles have been designed for a telemarketer free world you see)
I collapse in my bed after this intense workout, thinking I think I need a loan to buy something I neither need nor want. THEY HAVE SUCCEEDED!!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Cubicle ke us paar - Ek dard bhari prem katha
Cast:
Apna Hero - K.V.R.M chatopadhyay (Dad was from UP so southindian mom wanted some credit in the name her Dad's, village's, her best friend's and her name make up K.V.R.M) Pyar se known as chat
Apni Laila(well kind of) - Simran ghosh (All the good things about chandigarh and bengal ;)) Sim
Direction - jahan google le jaye
Script - ha ha good one!
ACTION!
Chat has been workin in this company for 3 months and 13 days. After 3.5 job switches (0.5 for the intra company change). Our experienced Hero is shocked and ashamed of the sex ratio of his team. "Chi yaar, EK ladki nai apni team main" he quibbles to his sutta partners. Will take care of it in the next recruitment cycle.
If it was up to chat, the company would hav recruited women from IIFT for creating Dot NET applications, but his HR is a lady so she doesn't understand what such a recruit will do to the team productivity.
Finaly, he got his chance to go recruit hunting to one of Jamshedpur's engineering colleges. (Calcutta main strike thi so the other college was closed ;)) Another HR blunder - the interview panel needed 2 people and he was stuck with a senior tech consultant WHO WAS A LADY (GHOR ANYAAY BHAGWAAN!) She was somehow hung upon teh candidate's technical capabilities. Arre main sikha dunga na thought chat. Finaly a compromise was reached - Simran Ghosh.
After the initial team lunch, paid for by all the other team members (yup guys) to show their eternal gratitute to Chat. Chat who used to amble into office at 11:00 am usually, but since Sim was an early morning person (who liked Bangalore ki coffee) Chat sacrificed hi sleep to get in early. At about 15 minutes past 9:30 a.m. he would stand next to her cubicle, diagonally opposite to his. Somehow she was always talking on the phone when he got there. "Must be talkin to her mom" he thought. He was always proud of the fact that she never said no to him, she didn't wana miss the oppertunity of free coffee service. Also, there was nobody else in at such an early hour.
Well after about 3months and 22 days of coffe service ( the shouts of KAAAAAAAAPPPII - 2 missing) he got the dreaded mail, with scanned attachments. He couldn't read it, he didn't have to. The last statement said it all "Please consider this our personal invitation". "Why ME god??" thought Chat. She was the one for me!! He obviously didn't attend the wedding, he had to meet the deadline for the next release, 10 months after her wedding day.
She returned after her one month break. Due to some inexplicable reason chat had started coming in late to the office. And then his mail "Thanks for all your support in building my carrer (for 7 months), I am pursuing my career interest elsewhere". The elsewhere was in a company with a better hit rate with the LADIES and good looking HRs but his reason for a swith was better career prospects OBVIOUSLY.
Well, Chat soon got married to Mandira Singh, A bengali girl settled in Delhi..JACKPOT.
Sim, lived happily ever after, She is a senior Tech consultant who often goes to conduct interviews. And the software industry braced for the next Sim-Chat pair!!
KAAAAAAAAAAAAPI KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPI
Apna Hero - K.V.R.M chatopadhyay (Dad was from UP so southindian mom wanted some credit in the name her Dad's, village's, her best friend's and her name make up K.V.R.M) Pyar se known as chat
Apni Laila(well kind of) - Simran ghosh (All the good things about chandigarh and bengal ;)) Sim
Direction - jahan google le jaye
Script - ha ha good one!
ACTION!
Chat has been workin in this company for 3 months and 13 days. After 3.5 job switches (0.5 for the intra company change). Our experienced Hero is shocked and ashamed of the sex ratio of his team. "Chi yaar, EK ladki nai apni team main" he quibbles to his sutta partners. Will take care of it in the next recruitment cycle.
If it was up to chat, the company would hav recruited women from IIFT for creating Dot NET applications, but his HR is a lady so she doesn't understand what such a recruit will do to the team productivity.
Finaly, he got his chance to go recruit hunting to one of Jamshedpur's engineering colleges. (Calcutta main strike thi so the other college was closed ;)) Another HR blunder - the interview panel needed 2 people and he was stuck with a senior tech consultant WHO WAS A LADY (GHOR ANYAAY BHAGWAAN!) She was somehow hung upon teh candidate's technical capabilities. Arre main sikha dunga na thought chat. Finaly a compromise was reached - Simran Ghosh.
After the initial team lunch, paid for by all the other team members (yup guys) to show their eternal gratitute to Chat. Chat who used to amble into office at 11:00 am usually, but since Sim was an early morning person (who liked Bangalore ki coffee) Chat sacrificed hi sleep to get in early. At about 15 minutes past 9:30 a.m. he would stand next to her cubicle, diagonally opposite to his. Somehow she was always talking on the phone when he got there. "Must be talkin to her mom" he thought. He was always proud of the fact that she never said no to him, she didn't wana miss the oppertunity of free coffee service. Also, there was nobody else in at such an early hour.
Well after about 3months and 22 days of coffe service ( the shouts of KAAAAAAAAPPPII - 2 missing) he got the dreaded mail, with scanned attachments. He couldn't read it, he didn't have to. The last statement said it all "Please consider this our personal invitation". "Why ME god??" thought Chat. She was the one for me!! He obviously didn't attend the wedding, he had to meet the deadline for the next release, 10 months after her wedding day.
She returned after her one month break. Due to some inexplicable reason chat had started coming in late to the office. And then his mail "Thanks for all your support in building my carrer (for 7 months), I am pursuing my career interest elsewhere". The elsewhere was in a company with a better hit rate with the LADIES and good looking HRs but his reason for a swith was better career prospects OBVIOUSLY.
Well, Chat soon got married to Mandira Singh, A bengali girl settled in Delhi..JACKPOT.
Sim, lived happily ever after, She is a senior Tech consultant who often goes to conduct interviews. And the software industry braced for the next Sim-Chat pair!!
KAAAAAAAAAAAAPI KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPI
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)