Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A hair racking experience

Background: My dad is a retired IAF officer. As you must have seen in most of the movies ALL the people (men that is) have verrrry simillar hair cuts. The reason.....well most of us are used to this routine: get to barber shop, sit on the chair, and tell him "Bhaiya baal chote kaat dena" (brother, cut em short). He takes care of the rest. So I'm not used to giving direction around my head.

Subject: Me, well I m a VERRY lazy and nervous person. Also, I am a civillian now. We(me and dad) recently shifted to J.P.Nagar 7th phase. After postponing geting a Hair cut for a month I had an afro which Carlos Alberto Valderrama Palacio would be proud of. Don't belive be(i have a cold)? THIS is what happens if I let my hair grow. Anyway so I landed up at the first place I could locate near my place. It was something called schwarzkopf(NOOOO IT IS NOT A BEAUTY SHOP! I AM NOT RETRO, METRO or ELEVATED RAILWAY SEXUAL! to go to a beauty saloon).

The Barbartist: Well that was a surprise.
1) He had long hair (a la Sanjay Dutt)
2) His shirt was not unbuttoned and CLEAN!!!
3) He was wearing an earring.
4) He was not burping AT ALL! (I was there around lunch time)

Close encounter of the Nth kind: As I told you earlier I am a nervous and lazy guy. I HATE people looking at me. So the fact that he had a full length mirror in front of me and every time I looked up this great looking dude (me) was staring at me, made matters worse. Now the barbartist was looking at me. I said short on the side, upar(top) se medium. I KNOW, he should know this without me having to tell him!!!

Any way if you noticed I called him a Barbartist. Well surprisingly it had a reason. This guy used to cut my hair then stare at my head (along with the guy in the mirror) think(!!!!) about his next move and then continue. Also, when you are using sharp objects on me, I would appriciate it if you place your weapons in front of me on a table so that I know what is coming next. But, our dude had this black apron and stuff appeared magically from its pockets. Sharp stuff that too!!!
After about an hour and lots of false alarms (His moment of deep thinking, when my head and hair were screaming, MUJHE BHAGWAAN KE LIYE CHOD(means let me go....not what you thought) DO and I was about to leap out of teh chair, the DUDE would start again!!! ) He did let me go.

This one hour period was punctuated with:
1) Him wetting my hair (With a spray of water u pervert)
2) Pulling my hair. That is how he decided if the length was uniform, pull the hair whatever was left protruding from his fist would be slaughtered
3) His switching the A.C. (yup they had an A.C) on and off. Not sure if it was for my cofort, his comfort or saving the electricity bill.
4) Him Mauling me. The excuse? Head massage!!!

I left the place feeling pretty light, my wallet that is!!!

BTW if you are wonderring about the mirror thing. About how have I been getting a haircut all this while....well the "BARBER SHOPS" usually hav a mirror behind you too and a tv playing some movie in a language that you do not understand and the guy in the mirror gets distracted and keeps looking at the T.V and not me!!! There HAPPY??

1 comment:

smart-alecky said...

ROTFL... Hair cut na ho gaya, julm ho gaya.
Well tha AC reminds me of one incident, which indiently is my next post (still penning it tough).
To read the rest of the comment, read my next post.