Showing posts with label Forwards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Forwards. Show all posts
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
yup....women are right....as always
Got this forward today....the ones in bold are the ACTUAL facts...the forward is just women's wishfull thinking... I think
Guy Facts and fiction:
When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you
ERR...NO....the cable transmission has been interrupted...
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
Actually listen carefully if his breathing is heavy he has just gone to sleep...if not then wait for 5, 4, 3....zzzz
When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
He realizes there is no other way out alive
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
He is lying....How many guys called FINE do you know
When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
In truth he is wondering..."Can I reach the part of my back that is itching or should I ask her..."
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,he has the world
Coz he knows he can make you start headbanging if he starts breathing REALLY fast
When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love
Or he lost the remote and wants to know what is on the other channels..
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
GOOD GUY?? There is NO such thing
When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till you are done
You have the remote to the T.V.
When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
He is hungry, the phone is too far...he wants YOU to order the pizza
There was a correponding list of what women think but hell, if I knew what women though, I would've had more cash than Gates, wouldn't I??
Guy Facts and fiction:
When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you
ERR...NO....the cable transmission has been interrupted...
When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
Actually listen carefully if his breathing is heavy he has just gone to sleep...if not then wait for 5, 4, 3....zzzz
When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
He realizes there is no other way out alive
When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
He is lying....How many guys called FINE do you know
When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
In truth he is wondering..."Can I reach the part of my back that is itching or should I ask her..."
When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,he has the world
Coz he knows he can make you start headbanging if he starts breathing REALLY fast
When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love
Or he lost the remote and wants to know what is on the other channels..
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
GOOD GUY?? There is NO such thing
When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till you are done
You have the remote to the T.V.
When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
He is hungry, the phone is too far...he wants YOU to order the pizza
There was a correponding list of what women think but hell, if I knew what women though, I would've had more cash than Gates, wouldn't I??
Friday, November 17, 2006
Forwarding Therapy
Easy way of posting something, I know, but this one is worth it...Nice...
"
This is a short story written by Dr Kishore Shah....
he is a gynecologist in Pune and a very gifted writer....enjoy this
extremely funny story
********************************************************** Woh Kaan thi!
My wife is an ENT Surgeon while as I am a Gynaecologist.
(In fact, we had nearly called our hospital The 'Holey' Family
hospital but are now waiting for our son to be a Proctologist and
marry an urologist.) This can lead to some complications, as I
recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner phoned me up
and told me that she as sending a patient of hers for an abortion.
Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal
of the wax to my wife.
I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she
was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our
hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax
removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation that
I had with the patient.
"Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a
big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a
feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax."
"Doctor, will this hurt a lot?"
"Not at all."
The patient relaxed visibly. "You know something, Doctor, we tried
removing it at home, but failed."
I was shocked. "Thank God. Trying this at home can cause serious
complications."
"I first tried to remove it by jumping up and down, but it just
wouldn't budge."
I smiled and said, "If it were that easy, who would need doctors?"
She gave a cute smile and said, "Yeah! My neighbour tried to remove it
with his finger, but the hole is so small that he used a hair pin."
"Oh my God!"
"Yes! My mother even tried a matchstick."
My blood pressure was shooting skywards. I just sputtered without
uttering a word.
"Tell me, doctor, how do I avoid getting this dirt inside me?"
I knew that it was an unwanted pregnancy, but calling it dirt was too
much. I replied a bit angrily, "There are tablets which can prevent
this happening. Or you could use protection at night."
Now it was the patient's turn to be confused, "You mean to say that it
happens only at night?"
I saw her point. "No! No! I meant anytime of the day, whenever you are
in the mood, you should use protection."
She was even more confused, "It depends on my moods?"
Again I saw her point. "My mistake. You need not be in any sort of
mood. It just happens."
"My neighbour advised me to go to one of those chaps who sit by the roadside."
"You mean that pin man?"
"Yeah!"
This neighbour of hers seemed to be a very dangerous man. Besides
using pins, he was sending her to such quacks. The only safety he knew
was among the pins. "You were wise not to heed his advice."
"But I tried his other advice. He told me to put warm oil inside and
wait. However, that also did not work."
This was getting more and more bizarre. Her neighbour deserved to be
locked up either in a padded cell or a barred one.
"But have you taken your husband's permission?"
Now the patient looked confused. "Do I have to take my husband's
permission? Because if you need his sign, he is working in Dubai . We
were not able to meet for the last one year."
It was my turn to be shocked. I gave a sly smirk. It was one of
'those' cases. The pin-wielding neighbour seemed to me the usual
suspect. I reassured her. "No! No! The husband's sign is not at all
needed."
"However, I did inform him on phone."
Her husband seemed to me a very broad-minded fellow. I didn't know
whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her. So I hastily
turned to other aspects. " Its good that you came a bit early."
"Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but I had some other work."
"Oh! I did not mean early today. I meant that if you had delayed this
removal, it would have started moving. Then it would have developed a
heartbeat."
The patient was staring at me wide eyed as if watching a horror movie.
Looking at her face, I decided that she was not fit to listen to the
grotesque details. I decided to relieve her a bit. I said, "You will
bleed a bit, but only for a few days."
By now, the poor patient was trembling, "how-H-How much bleeding?"
"Oh, only slightly more than your menstrual period, and it will
continue only for a week or so."
By now the patient was clutching her hair in her fingers and staring
at me wide-eyed. I asked her soothingly, "Why don't you lie down on
the examination table? Remove your underclothes and relax."
This was the final straw. She didn't even wish me goodbye. I saw just
a blur of motion leaving my consulting room at top speed.
Kishore Shah 1974
"
"
This is a short story written by Dr Kishore Shah....
he is a gynecologist in Pune and a very gifted writer....enjoy this
extremely funny story
********************************************************** Woh Kaan thi!
My wife is an ENT Surgeon while as I am a Gynaecologist.
(In fact, we had nearly called our hospital The 'Holey' Family
hospital but are now waiting for our son to be a Proctologist and
marry an urologist.) This can lead to some complications, as I
recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner phoned me up
and told me that she as sending a patient of hers for an abortion.
Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal
of the wax to my wife.
I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she
was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our
hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax
removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation that
I had with the patient.
"Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a
big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a
feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax."
"Doctor, will this hurt a lot?"
"Not at all."
The patient relaxed visibly. "You know something, Doctor, we tried
removing it at home, but failed."
I was shocked. "Thank God. Trying this at home can cause serious
complications."
"I first tried to remove it by jumping up and down, but it just
wouldn't budge."
I smiled and said, "If it were that easy, who would need doctors?"
She gave a cute smile and said, "Yeah! My neighbour tried to remove it
with his finger, but the hole is so small that he used a hair pin."
"Oh my God!"
"Yes! My mother even tried a matchstick."
My blood pressure was shooting skywards. I just sputtered without
uttering a word.
"Tell me, doctor, how do I avoid getting this dirt inside me?"
I knew that it was an unwanted pregnancy, but calling it dirt was too
much. I replied a bit angrily, "There are tablets which can prevent
this happening. Or you could use protection at night."
Now it was the patient's turn to be confused, "You mean to say that it
happens only at night?"
I saw her point. "No! No! I meant anytime of the day, whenever you are
in the mood, you should use protection."
She was even more confused, "It depends on my moods?"
Again I saw her point. "My mistake. You need not be in any sort of
mood. It just happens."
"My neighbour advised me to go to one of those chaps who sit by the roadside."
"You mean that pin man?"
"Yeah!"
This neighbour of hers seemed to be a very dangerous man. Besides
using pins, he was sending her to such quacks. The only safety he knew
was among the pins. "You were wise not to heed his advice."
"But I tried his other advice. He told me to put warm oil inside and
wait. However, that also did not work."
This was getting more and more bizarre. Her neighbour deserved to be
locked up either in a padded cell or a barred one.
"But have you taken your husband's permission?"
Now the patient looked confused. "Do I have to take my husband's
permission? Because if you need his sign, he is working in Dubai . We
were not able to meet for the last one year."
It was my turn to be shocked. I gave a sly smirk. It was one of
'those' cases. The pin-wielding neighbour seemed to me the usual
suspect. I reassured her. "No! No! The husband's sign is not at all
needed."
"However, I did inform him on phone."
Her husband seemed to me a very broad-minded fellow. I didn't know
whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her. So I hastily
turned to other aspects. " Its good that you came a bit early."
"Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but I had some other work."
"Oh! I did not mean early today. I meant that if you had delayed this
removal, it would have started moving. Then it would have developed a
heartbeat."
The patient was staring at me wide eyed as if watching a horror movie.
Looking at her face, I decided that she was not fit to listen to the
grotesque details. I decided to relieve her a bit. I said, "You will
bleed a bit, but only for a few days."
By now, the poor patient was trembling, "how-H-How much bleeding?"
"Oh, only slightly more than your menstrual period, and it will
continue only for a week or so."
By now the patient was clutching her hair in her fingers and staring
at me wide-eyed. I asked her soothingly, "Why don't you lie down on
the examination table? Remove your underclothes and relax."
This was the final straw. She didn't even wish me goodbye. I saw just
a blur of motion leaving my consulting room at top speed.
Kishore Shah 1974
"
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