Return of Hugzilla !!

Every family has a standard set of specimens a.k.a relatives who perform a preordained set of functions mandatory to their existence and your demise. This is not the only thing that they are born to do, but this is however, how you will remember them...

1. The uncle who has a killer dress sense (fatal actually).
2. The cousin whose music collection you envy.
3. The aunty who tells dirty jokes to little kids and is pleased no end when they make that weird face as if they didn't understand (These kids have no problems in understanding Eminem's lyrics tho')
4. The Fav aunty who gets you presents ....and finally
5. HUGZILLA

The thing is my dad was in IAF while I was a kid. This reduced the frequency of my meeting them and did the following to my every visit.

1. Exponentially increased the importance of the visit and the cash I got as a "gift" (bribes actually to eat their food...)
2. The HUGZILLA attacks got much more violent.

Still cant figure out what I'm talking abut?? If you have seen the new Asian paints ad then you'll know...(The brown wall no no CHOCOLATE coloured wall thingy)... when the Granny finally realises the kids want a Toblorone instead of murabba....she MAULS the poor kid...

This is called a HUGZILLA (the technical term). You stand there waiting for it to end with your lifeless arms hanging by your side like a ragged doll, and your head held in place to save you from whiplash. The joy from your being there makes the Hugzilla shake the shimmy you see...

As you grow, in height that is, you are saved from the WET DISGUSTING kisses but the duration of the Shimmy shake increases along with a marked reduction in the cash you are about to get paid for the 10Th time you are eating lunch at your FAV aunt's place (according to the aunt)....I'd rather earn my money elsewhere......

Guilty?

Committing Suicide is a crime...

If u were successful you are dead, can't be punished...

If you survive, you didn't commit the crime...

WTF!!

...

For those of you who "celebrate" 14tf Feb...

Bob Dylan...

I love you more than ever, more than time and more than love,
I love you more than money and more than the stars above,
Love you more than madness, more than waves upon the sea,
Love you more than life itself, you mean that much to me.

Ever since you walked right in, the circle's been complete,
I've said goodbye to haunted rooms and faces in the street,
To the courtyard of the jester which is hidden from the sun,
I love you more than ever and I haven't yet begun.

You breathed on me and made my life a richer one to live,
When I was deep in poverty you taught me how to give,
Dried the tears up from my dreams and pulled me from the hole,
Quenched my thirst and satisfied the burning in my soul.

You gave me babies one, two, three, what is more, you saved my life,
Eye for eye and tooth for tooth, your love cuts like a knife,
My thoughts of you don't ever rest, they'd kill me if I lie,
I'd sacrifice the world for you and watch my senses die.

The tune that is yours and mine to play upon this earth,
We'll play it out the best we know, whatever it is worth,
What's lost is lost, we can't regain what went down in the flood,
But happiness to me is you and I love you more than blood.

It's never been my duty to remake the world at large,
Nor is it my intention to sound a battle charge,
'Cause I love you more than all of that with a love that doesn't bend,
And if there is eternity I'd love you there again.

Oh, can't you see that you were born to stand by my side
And I was born to be with you, you were born to be my bride,
You're the other half of what I am, you're the missing piece
And I love you more than ever with that love that doesn't cease.

You turn the tide on me each day and teach my eyes to see,
Just bein' next to you is a natural thing for me
And I could never let you go, no matter what goes on,
'Cause I love you more than ever now that the past is gone.

Source

yup....women are right....as always

Got this forward today....the ones in bold are the ACTUAL facts...the forward is just women's wishfull thinking... I think

Guy Facts and fiction:

When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you
ERR...NO....the cable transmission has been interrupted...

When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...
Actually listen carefully if his breathing is heavy he has just gone to sleep...if not then wait for 5, 4, 3....zzzz

When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong
He realizes there is no other way out alive

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it
He is lying....How many guys called FINE do you know

When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do
In truth he is wondering..."Can I reach the part of my back that is itching or should I ask her..."

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest,he has the world
Coz he knows he can make you start headbanging if he starts breathing REALLY fast

When a guy calls you everyday, he is in love
Or he lost the remote and wants to know what is on the other channels..

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
GOOD GUY?? There is NO such thing

When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you till you are done
You have the remote to the T.V.

When a guy says, "I miss you" he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else
He is hungry, the phone is too far...he wants YOU to order the pizza

There was a correponding list of what women think but hell, if I knew what women though, I would've had more cash than Gates, wouldn't I??

:D

Got this from Sidin's blog.

Check out the mail id.....MAN!

The futility of it all...

The ONLY reason why you can enjoy life is coz it doesn't give you a DEADline for it's end...

but then again it can screw you whenever it wants...

Oh, the futility of it all!!

Wishes

You sit there, in the dark corner...
Crying, wondering what could've been...

Remembering...

The smile of recognition on her face...
The sadness in her eyes, asking you why me...

Her last breath, helped on by a machine...
The stillness of her body...

The touch of her hand on your cheeks, when she teased you about your girlfriend...
The weight of her hand on your head...

I can still feel your hand on my head ma...
Happy B'day!

Religious?? U r screwed...

Not confessing to your sins is a Sin...

If you sin you have to confess....

Isn't religion just try to lower it's attrition rate?

Destiny's Slave

God is a Precog.

Your destiny is not what you make of it...

You end up doing what was required to get to the destiny HE decided for you...

Every change you make in the present is the past for GOD...

Hitler was a Precog too.

God had planned Hitler's Destiny too, just like ours...

CHAL DHANNO!

You run...run to catch up...
Be there on time...
Meet your commitments...
Cross the finish line...
be responsible...
keep your promises...
Be the good one...

You run...run to escape...
what you promised your self you'll never be...
what you wanted to be...
what you could have been...
The kind of "friend" you wanted to be...
feeling guilty of not feeling guilty...

Then you get off the treadmill and join the rat race...

errr..EXCUSE ME!

When a page has "THIS PAGE IS INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK" written on it.....is it STILL blank?

Beyond death

Jim morrison -> Dylan Thomas -> And death shall have no dominion

And death shall have no dominion

And death shall have no dominion.

Dead men naked they shall be one

With the man in the wind and the west moon;

When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,

They shall have stars at elbow and foot;

Though they go mad they shall be sane,

Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;

Though lovers be lost love shall not;

And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.

Under the windings of the sea

They lying long shall not die windily;

Twisting on racks when sinews give way,

Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;

Faith in their hands shall snap in two,

And the unicorn evils run them through;

Split all ends up they shan't crack;

And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.

No more may gulls cry at their ears

Or waves break loud on the seashores;

Where blew a flower may a flower no more

Lift its head to the blows of the rain;

Though they be mad and dead as nails,

Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;

Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,

And death shall have no dominion.

Copied shamelessly from wiki

Shit Happens

Stuck in the same kind of traffic jam as mentioned in the previous post. The cop said ok your turn and we kick our gadiyan into gear.

Well I'm a good driver, have been for 8 years...well am fast not rash...ok ok a bit rash. However, the few accidents that I've had, have always been at a slow speed, some of them were my faults.

So, we roar from the start line and then my bike is lying on the road and I'm standing next to it. AAAAAAAA the cop is hitting this guy and shouting at him. The guy was on a fiero and was trying to save the 5 minutes he would have had to spend at the signal. He shrugs off the cop and looks at me while lifting his bike. I look at my bike. No visible damage. That guy moves to the side of the road. I try starting my bike, which obliged dutifully after a bit of coaxing though.

As, I'm leaving the scene of the crime I look back an the cop looks at me as if asking "OK your turn now." I just didn't react. Looked ahead and moved on. Well the bike was fine, so was I. I wasn't interested in beating up the guy (I don't want to take advantage of my build you see :)) neither I felt the need to extort money from that guy for any damage that didn't happen. Or maybe I have become too soft coz of the "chalta hai" attitude.

Shit happens. What to do we are like this only.

Dude, if you are reading this, I hope you are doing fine. And yeah start wearing a helmet. AND LEARN TO STOP!

Pothole Society

Today, after about 2 months I got stuck in a typical B'lore traffic jam. The kinds because of which I spend 45 minutes to get to my office...6 Kms away.

Anyhow, with all the variety of specimens that end up driving it is a pretty interesting mix.

The rules of India still apply though:

1) You always curse the person whose vehicle is of the same size as yours or smaller.

2) In case of an accident, the guy with a bigger gadi is at fault. Any damage to the bigger vehicle is well deserved.

3) The middle class which is the first to break the rules (drive on the footpath) is also the first to curse the infrastructure (yup me too).

4) Basic logic, driving sense and common courtesy are fairy tales

5) You curse the media (Fm radio) for being pathetic and still listen to them and try to save the world via SMS (please let us know if saddam should be hangged or tickled to death. Please send us a solution to the Kashmir/Mid east/ iraq/Constipation/stray dogs).

6) You curse the autowala who just spit in front of you and never think twice before watering any greenery next to the stick no bills or a no parking sign.

7) Reliance is still leveling the playing field. (The guy on a cycle just passed you while you are stuck in the traffic was telling his would, could, should or may be wife/gf how bad the traffic is)


All beacouse they don't build flyovers/metros/mono-rails I TELL YOU!

Death and Marriage

They are dressed in their best clothes. There in front of everyone.

Their faces are peaceful, impatient for a new start.

A long queue of people, waiting to see them, the last time as individuals.

They knew this was gonna happen. It was just a matter of time.

All the people who matter are there.

The only difference being in one case they have a choice of heaven or hell. In which case, I'll let you decide ;)

P.S. - Dint get it?
Case 1: They are at their marriage reception.
Case 2: They just died and are laying in their coffins.